


Camp Eldia: Oneirataxia

by Lana_ravenclaw1



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Eren and Jean are bestfriends somehow, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Violence, Humour, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Reunions, Romance, Rugby, Sassy Eren Yeager, Slow Burn, Sports, Switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:54:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_ravenclaw1/pseuds/Lana_ravenclaw1
Summary: “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” - Steve MaraboliEren's eavesdropping leads to his discovery of a mysterious summer camp that had opened just outside of town. Determined to worm his way inside the 'invite only' resort he finds a job just down the road. But when a chance encounter with a blonde-haired customer that somehow acted like he knew him, he soon found himself invited inside of Camp Eldia.Still, when inside the camp he finds that there's too many secrets lingering in the air, why do some people act like they know him? Why is the camp separated into two? What the hell do these armbands even mean? And why does the steely-eyed camp instructor seem so familiar?
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 37
Kudos: 64





	1. Little Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome to my first A03 fanfiction. This is a Reincarnation AU so there will be descriptions of past Character Death, I'll leave disclaimers at the beginning of each chapter, but if you think I've forgotten something, please feel free to let me know. Anyway, please enjoy and I look forward to this journey with you!

There were two things about Eren that was absolutely certain; He had a tendency to be an absolute little shit and secondly, he just didn't know how to let things go.

In the most literal sense. Eren had refused to allow himself to be pushed out of the womb. Why would he want to leave?, it was comfy, and he didn't have to deal with the outside world. Of course, this was a problem for Carla who was already trying to keep her shit together during a very long and agonizing labour.

But it was all worth it when he came out, and he opened those eyes. 

To his parents. Eren was an angel. To the world, he came straight from the depths of hell. The terrible twos was a faze that never faded away. He was kicked out of pre-school at the tender age of three ( _seriously, what does a three-year-old have to do to get kicked out of pre-school?_ ), primary school was no better as he was constantly being sent home for biting the other kids in his class.

By the time he was eight, he put on quite a display when he overheard an argument between his parents and discovered that Grisha Yeager had cheated on his beautiful wife and intended to start a completely new, happy life with the other woman. On the Brightside, Eren discovered that he could bench press a Thirty-Five year old man if he put his mind to it.

He could never quite let go of the anger he felt the day his dad walked out on his family. At nights when he sat outside his mother's bedroom door he heard her soft, subdued cries seep under the gap, and it would break Eren's heart in ways he didn't think possible. He chose to never forgive him for hurting her.

Unfortunately, this anger only continued to manifest as he hit puberty and attended secondary school. Carla was up to her waist in exclusion letters explaining how Eren had yet again been sent home for starting fights, skipping classes, never doing homework...more than anything she just wanted him to make a friend.

He made it to college and hit a stage of maturity. Friends were still non-existent, but he had a passion for sports _(specifically Rugby_ ) and that was something he perhaps wanted to do and play for as long as the world would let him.

Rugby was not the only constant in his life. There was a fascination of his...one that his mother loathed, one that he never quite understood, but something that he just couldn't let go off...that fascination was the Mysterious Summer Camp that was based just outside the city.

He heard all about this camp when he was Ten years old. It was a very hot day outside and Carla had insisted that he went outside and got some fresh air, it didn't matter if he had no friends, Eren could entertain himself by kicking his football against the front of the house for a couple of hours. The sweat dripped from his brows as he directed another little kick to the ball, letting it bounce against the bricks, when the sound of two people walking along the path a little away had got his attention. He didn't care much at all for what they looked like, but it was the two armbands around their biceps that had caught his attention.

On their right arm, was a neon green band. But on their left armband was an insignia he had never seen before. There were two wings, one white and the other a navy colour... They paid no attention to the boy kicking his ball at the front of his house.

"Did you see his fucking face Farlan?! For a man who jokes about shit all the time, he sure looked like he'd be scrubbing shit from his underpants!", The girl had yelled. Eren noted how excitable she was and had written her off as 'annoying' almost immediately.

Funnily enough, the friend she was squealing too was wearing an expression that completely matched Eren's thoughts. "As accurate as that description is Isabel, it's left me with a horrible mental image, thanks for that"

"That's _exactly_ why you decided that a second life without me would be unbearable"

He brushed off the heavy arm that she had flung around his shoulder, "I'm starting to think the _first_ life was enough". He mumbled, pointedly ignoring the scowl on her face.

"Asshole"

Truthfully, Eren didn't have a clue what they were talking about, they weren't making sense about first and second lives, and he wasn't really going to figure it out either. For some reason the only thing he could focus on were those armbands, and he found himself wanting to know more. A more than civilized person would simply walk up to another and ask them about something they wanted to know, but Eren was everything but civilized and instead chose to boot his football in their direction which smacked right into the back of Farlan's head.

_Yes. That certainly got their attention._

Farlan didn't have a fucking clue what was happening, until he found a ball at his feet and a young boy stood directly in front of the pair of them, "Ow _Fuck_! What was that for you little shit?!", he hissed, soothingly rubbing the back of his head.

"Farlan stop, he's just a boy"

Eren shrugged nonchalantly, bending down to pick up his ball and then looking back at them, "Was an accident".

"An accident with _accurate_ precision, sure."

"A funny one, is what it was", The girl (Isabel was it?) snickered, before bursting out in obnoxious laughter at the expense of Farlan that could only throw a stern glare in her direction.

"Is there something you wanted to say kid? Or do we have to ask permission to use the rest of the path?"

"What's that?", Eren asks pointing at the bands that caught his fascination.

"An armband"

"I'm ten, not an idiot"

"Sarky little shit, aren't you?"

"You're really going to sink as low as to argue with a kid Farlan?", Isabel teased, before bending over, so she was eye-level with Eren. An action, that for some reason, Eren found very condescending.

"Hey little guy, this armband has an insignia that we call 'the wings of freedom' it's something that myself and a lot of other people are proud of and these coloured ones, well they don't matter that much to you"

" _OK_. Cool...but, why are you wearing them?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? There's a new summer camp that's been set up just a little outside the city, there isn't many people there right now, but I'm sure more people may come next year"

He noticed that a small, sad smile had spread on her face. Truthfully, he didn't want to know why, his attention was well and truly grasped in the palms of a brand new summer camp, "What kind of stuff do you do there?"

"Wow! They do anything and everything you could think of! Art classes, fencing, swimming, even playing football, all the types of things you might do with your friends"

_Ouch_. He looked down at his feet, a little pout on his face. _Now_ he was acting more like a small child his age should, "... I don't have any friends", he whispered.

"No shit", Farlan muttered under his breath, earning him a sharp elbow to the ribs by his friend.

Her hands flew out so fast, it was a blur and instantly latched onto the baby fat of Eren's cheeks, proceeding to give them a big squishy squeeze, "Damn, he's just so damn cute! Look at his sad downcast face, if we were the same age I definitely would have been friends with you little guy!", Eren instantly slaps her hands away from his face, but that doesn't deter the woman from squealing and smiling in his presence.

"So...one day, can I join the camp?"

Only slightly, did her bright grin drop and instead was replaced with a sympathetic smile, "Oh... I'm sorry little man, I don't think so, I'm afraid Camp Eldia is rather...exclusive"

"What does 'exclusive' mean?"

"It means that you can only come if you're invited, they only let a particular type of person inside, so you just forget all about it, kid", Farlan chipped in again, just wanting to have the conversation over and done with, his stomach was begging to be filled, and they only had so much time to eat before they had to return to the camp.

Eren, obviously not knowing this, continued to prod, "But, I want to join".

"Well, if it turns out you're someone important then maybe you'll get an invitation, but it's likely you won't, so it's better that you let it go"

With this final word. The pair finally bid the small child goodbye and finally went about their day. One thing however remained very clear, Farlan had no clue whatsoever who he was just talking to. Because this was Eren Yeager, and Eren Yeager had absolutely no intention of letting this go...

***

_Well Shit. I got in._

This wasn't a mistake. The email from UCAS was right here in front of his face. He'd been accepted into Heriot-Watt University on a Sports Science degree, and he sincerely had no idea what to think about that. Maybe it was fluke? No, that wasn't right, Eren had spent a lot of time revising for his final A-Level exams, it wasn't like he had any friends to distract him from them.

So. He must have actually passed his exams then.

_Hmm._

Usually, when he didn't have any idea how he was supposed to feel about something, he'd reach out to his mother for some comfort and advice. With a sigh he rose from his computer chair and sought out his mother, who was already waiting expectantly by the kitchen counter.

"You know, I might be your mother, but I still can't tell if that's a face of someone who has received good news or bad news", Her eyebrows lifted with anticipation and her arms ready to offer love to her son, regardless of the final outcome. It's just the sort of angel Carla was, (Fuck you Grisha for hurting this woman).

"Yeah, I got in mum"

She screamed with euphoria and jumped into her son's arms, a hug that radiates warmth and pure love, "You know I've always been proud of you Eren...and you know your dad is as well".

He couldn't help but scoff at her added comment, "Oh _really_ , tell you that himself did he?", he regretted his sarcasm, the moment his mother fixed him with a stern glare and looked down as the guilt settled in his stomach for taking up such a harsh tone with her.

"Sorry mum"

"Hmm, well it's understandable, your dad _is_ a bit of a prick isn't he?", She teased, holding back a chuckle that Eren found his lips twitching at.

"So tell me son, why is it that I seem a lot more happy about you being accepted into University than you are?"

"It's just... I love sports, I love to play Rugby but, It means moving to Scotland which is the other end of the country and well..."

"You're worried about leaving me here alone?"

He nodded, voicing the worry that settled in the back of his mind, the moment he had read the confirmation email, "Yes. I don't think I'm ready to leave you behind whilst I'm so far away"

"Eren. I'm a forty-year-old woman, who has had a glorious Eighteen years of you being by my side every day of my life, but you have to let me go. You need to learn to be on your own, go make friends, do something you're passionate about"

"I don't know"

"You're going to have to know...there's something else isn't there?", She inquired, knowing her son well enough to know when he's holding something back from her. When he doesn't reply immediately, she recognizes his expression and knows exactly what the other problem was.

"Eren. You need to forget about that Camp"

He couldn't help but sigh, "Am I really that obvious?".

"Patently so"

"But-"

"No. No buts Eren. I want you to stay out and away from there. I'm not alone, a lot of us other mums don't like what's going on there, only invited people can join ominously so, I reckon it's some sort of cult", She shivered. The thought of Eren walking into a cult was not delightful one.

He rolled his eyes as his mothers tendency to be given an inch and taking it a mile, "It's a summer camp".

"It doesn't matter. It's invite only, and you _won't_ be invited Eren. Now listen, I don't mind if you want to defer from University for a year, but you must spend this year thinking about what you truly want from this life"

"I guess I could play rugby", he shrugged

"And get a _job_ "

His eyes flew open so wide that Carla couldn't help but find it extremely amusing, Eren however reacted like his mother had told him to rob the old lady's house next door, "Oh mum, please, if you ever loved me, please don't make me get a job! I'll do anything?! Clean windows! Cut the grass! Paint the skirting boards!"

"You eat everything in my fridge like I can afford to go shopping all the time. Get a job and learn to contribute, be grateful"

_Fuck. What mum says goes and that's final. Brilliant._

"Fine"

"Good, now run along, you have jobs to be applying for"

"Wait, _now_?"

"Now, Eren"

He huffs at losing the argument, but he wasn't really that bothered by it. Perhaps getting a job would be a chance for him to have actual human interaction. Although it was incredibly unlikely, his customer service would leave much to be desired. 

He kissed his mum on her forehead before running right back upstairs and open a few tabs on his computer. He typed in Indeed.com into his search bar and ran through the settings. Furthermore, he looked at all the full time jobs in Manchester but so far, none of them we're what he was looking for. The expression 'Beggars can't be choosers' was certainly not applicable in this instance. No, he didn't want to become a Morrison's Night Assistant, No, bartending was not for him, Neither was Store picking...wait.

Gregg's Store Assistant, and it was...down the road from the Mysterious Summer Camp.

People from the camp would surely stop by during their lunch hours, wouldn't they?

_Fuck it._

He clicked on the link and immediately started the application process. He would lie through his teeth to appear like a fucking god if it meant securing a position at this job. The mission was simple, get the job, befriend someone from the camp and then infiltrate.

_Done_. Application received.

Eren was already asleep, when he received a new email. He was accepted for a job interview.

_Good_ , because Eren wasn't letting this job go...


	2. Ambiguous Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip #1 Trust Blonde people, they know things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I have no writing schedule for this, I'm just writing to my hearts content and getting shit done.  
> Anyway, I promise we'll get some Eren and Levi interactions next Chapter, just making sure I set the scene properly. So without further ado, I present Chapter Two...

_Today was going to be a good day._

"Eren! I told you to take the sausage rolls out the oven! They're going to burn"

_Or not_.

"Shit!"

An entire year had passed by and somehow managed to leave Eren behind. He wasn't any better at his job now than he was when he first started. He considered the only reason that he hadn't been sacked from Greggs yet was because the manager knew his mother and most likely had pitied the pair of them. Furthermore, he hated the idea of someone feeling like they needed to reach across to them with an unnecessary, unearned kindness that would surely be valuable to someone else, but he was going to reap the benefits of their pity and stay employed as long as possible.

His first shift hadn't started until Camp Eldia had already broken up at the end of the summer holidays, so Eren had slaved away day after day to ensure that he was here for the next time the disbanded camp would open its gates once again. He refused to start his course in September without just once knowing what it was like inside there.

He inspected the sausage rolls, as he pulled them out of the excessively hot oven. They were certainly browner than they are usually, even minutes away from being practically cremated. But they would be fine and despite the less than pleased expression on his managers face, he knew he could get away with this by the skin of his teeth.

"You're lucky this time Yeager, I have to leave the shop for a while, and I'd appreciate if I could trust to leave you behind in the shop whilst I'm gone. No more slip-ups"

Truthfully he was sorry. Sorry for being a fuck up, but it was really on brand. 

He was also pissed off. Like _super_ , super, pissed (Wow, how descriptive). From over his managers shoulders he sees his co-workers bundled together, pointing and sniggering at his expense. They never hid the fact that they would never accept Eren into their pathetic little clique and would keep him out of the loop.

If Eren wasn't used to it by now, he would've lost purpose long ago. He just hadn't found the right people for him yet.

"Consider this a lesson to look after things yourself and perhaps learn to get along better with your co-workers", His manager took a moment to glance at Eren's downcast face before sighing and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, and it took a lot of mental strength for him to not hit away his hand. " _Look_ , you're a good boy Eren... Just work the counter for today, I'll be back in the afternoon"

He nodded. "Sure, sorry"

Before he knew it, the day had flown by without thinking to give Eren a warning. It had been like that lately, like a grandfather clock that chimed with every passing hour, but the hands remained in the same positions. He was hanging in a constant state of certainty and uncertainty, seen the weather change through the glass many times, customers coming and going, but none of them were people he wanted to see. He wondered if there was some sort of magical force field that kept people away. Lost in a labyrinth of thought, Eren had failed to notice that the store was empty, save for a patiently waiting customer that said nothing except clear their throat to announce their presence.

When Eren finally does notice the customer, a further silence sets in, because it was one of them.

It was someone from the camp.

An averaged height, blonde-haired male, who radiated patience and purity. Eren didn't quite understand how someone's presence could be unsettlingly overwhelming. But here they were...saying nothing to each other.

Actually, it's quite fucking awkward now. So Eren prepares to channel his most polite customer service voice.

"Um... Welcome to Greggs...would you like a sausage roll? Or some shit like that?. I mean I did burn them so their crappier than usual, but I mean if you're only willing to spend a £1 then I suppose quality isn't really a given"

_Nailed it._

He was suddenly startled when the guy abruptly snorted at him, hiding a flushed chuckle behind the palm of his hand, before fixing Eren with a look of amused disbelief

"And you've been working here for _how_ long exactly?", He teased

"Nearly a year, they usually have me in the back of the store, because food can't retaliate to my insults the same way customers can", Eren replied easily, as though he had _always_ found speaking to people easy. 

But the male, hadn't been offended by Eren's verbal Diarrhoea and was in fact incredibly entertained, "You insult food regularly then do you?" 

"Yeah, I called a donut an asshole the other day because I managed to overfill it with custard, and it burst all over my uniform"

The Blond Boy burst out laughing yet again like Eren had said the funniest thing in the world, and he didn't know what to think about that. He had never known what it was like to have someone laugh at Eren without malicious intent and the warm flush in his cheeks was a clear indication that it was actually nice to have someone enjoy his presence so much, but it was bittersweet in the sense that this boy may be the _only_ person to feel that way for Eren. Truthfully, Eren was still creeped out that the male hadn't actually ordered anything yet, but he wasn't in any rush to have him leave the shop just yet.

"Do you know who I am?"

_OK. Now I'm definitely creeped out_

It was a simple question, but the way he asked with absolute seriousness which contrasted so drastically with his laughter only seconds ago, made Eren feel like it was a very heavily loaded one, "Should I?"

"That depends on how you answer my question"

"What question?"

"... Tell me, what do you think of, when I mention the _sea_?"

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, not quite understanding what that was supposed to mean. Was there some sort of covert link between the sea and the acknowledgment of another individual?. Apparently there was, because one glimpse into the blue eyes of the male had spoken in silent volumes. There was most _definitely_ a correct and definitive answer and the male really hoped that Eren knew it. So far, everyone from the camp that Eren has met have been quite fucking weird, but he still wanted to consider this question. What exactly _does_ Eren think of when he thinks of the sea?. If he were to be honest, he'd say that it wasn't really as spectacular as many people seem to think. The sea breeze was too salty, wet sand was gross, and he's been to the beach too many times for it to feel like it did the first time he had ever gone. So he has his answer, and he finds a way to articulate it.

"Well... I suppose, it's _wet_?"

The Blonde man said nothing, not for a moment whilst he let Eren's answer wash over him. His gaze didn't give anything away either, but when he spoke, his tone certainly did, "Really...the sea...is _wet_ "

"I mean, I answered your weird question didn't I? So based on my answer, do I or don't I know you?"

" _No_. You don't know me", Eren nodded. In fact, he expected it and couldn't shake the disappointment of having answered incorrectly and would most likely never know what the correct answer was supposed to be.

"But, you _could_ get to know me? This might be weird to ask, or maybe it won't be considering how unconventional this conversation has gone so far, but we could sit down and talk maybe?"

The manager was gone. But his next break wasn't for another hour. Then again he didn't really give two shits about throwing his over co-workers under the bus and if they chose to snitch to the manager about him slacking off, he was sure he could pull the ' _Please don't, I'm a disturbed child cause daddy left me_ ' card and get away with it. Not only that but this may be the only opportunity he'll ever get to talk with someone from the camp. This is what he always wanted, to befriend someone and find a way to get in. 

Without another word. Eren took off his hair net and led the boy to a table in the corner, where the two of them sat across from each other.

"Can I ask you a question?"

The Male nods, his warm smile yet again gracing his face, "I think this whole conversation is going to consist of questions, so you may as well"

"You're not a stalker right? You haven't been lingering around the store for weeks waiting to talk to me by any chance? I mean you're cute. But I like my men a little older"

The male shivered as though Eren had told him the most gross piece of information and Eren couldn't help but be a little offended. Like _what the fuck_ , what's so wrong about being attracted to me, I'm cute as _fuck_.

"No, I'm _not_ a stalker. I was actually stood there for a while having asked you for a coffee, but you seemed to have your eyes fixated to the bands on my arms to have heard me actually say anything"

Eren sunk further down into his seat, that made sense. "Oh. How embarrassing for me"

"I like how you do that. How you're not afraid to say what you're thinking. I-I had a friend like you _once_ , hot-headed, but he tended to be careful with his words and that often wasn't the best thing for him...but you're _different_ , it's refreshing"

"You're _certain_ you aren't flirting right now?"

"I'm not flirting. You _can_ ask me about it, you know? I can see you're interested in the arm bands"

It was surprising. It was like everything he wanted was being presented on a polished silver tray and yet it felt like such a taboo to reach out and snatch at the opportunity. His eyes scanned around the shop as though he was scoping out possible eavesdroppers and leaned forward to whisper.

"I didn't think I could, I spoke to people that go to that camp like you a long time ago, they made it sound that it was something that someone like me should never even think about, let alone speak. You sure I won't get in trouble for speaking with you about it?"

"It's a _summer_ camp, not fight club"

He let out a breath of relief, "When did it reopen for the summer?"

"A week ago. This is the second summer that I've returned, when it opened ten years ago only 20 people were there the whole summer, this year there's 300 people, next year, hopefully more"

"Is there any chance I can make it _301_?"

 _Brilliant_. The one time Eren wanted to watch what was he was saying, and he straight up blurts out his actual intentions. What was the point of creating an elaborate plan in his mind to somehow swindle his way into the camp, if he was just going to announce his intentions right away. And now he most probably screwed up his chances with the blonde male in front of him. He was going to refuse him, turn him away, warn him like the others had to let it go, give up on what he wants and live the rest of his life wondering what could have been if he could just learn to _shut_ the fuck _up_ sometimes.

"Sure"

Confusion.

"Wait. _What?_ "

He chuckled at Eren appearing so perplexed and shrugged his shoulders as though Eren had asked him for a chewing gum or something. "Sure, I don't see why not. I mean, I don't have authority to invite you myself, but the Camp Director takes my recommendations _very_ seriously...but, I'm sorry to have to do this to you again, but I will only consider recommending you, if you answer another question of mine?"

_Fun, more ambiguous questions._

"I mean...OK"

"Before I do, we haven't actually introduced ourselves", He holds out his hand to shake which Eren eagerly takes.

"I'm Armin. Armin Arlert"

"Eren Yeager...so, that question?"

Armin nods, taking back his hand and a deep sigh, "OK. What is your name?"

For the second time of the day, Eren was at a complete loss. "What do you mean? I literally just told you it"

"I know. But I need you to tell me again, before you do, really think about it, and tell me your name"

What a weird fucking request. It was certainly the first time anyone had asked him to think about his own name. What was there really to think about, it wasn't like he asked for it, it was given to him a birth. Then again there is power in a name, hearing you're own name, no matter the language is the most sweet and important sound. He once had read somewhere that a name isn't what they may call you, it's what you answer to. His whole life he had watched people's mouth movement whenever they spoke to him and it never quite matched the sound that came out, but his name was always called, and it was what he always answered to.

"My name is Eren Yeager...and your name is Armin Arlert"

Armin nods, and starts to rummage through his pockets, before placing a pen and paper on the table and slides it towards him.

"Can I have your email, mobile number and house address?"

"Is this what friends do? Exchange personal contact information?", Eren couldn't help but ask, as he jots away on the paper.

"Yes. This is what friends do"

He couldn't of hidden his smile even if he wanted to. His happiness has come naturally, and he knew deep down that Armin's offer of friendship was also something that came naturally to him, it wasn't forced like his managers pity, his mothers collected composure even though beneath the surface she was still hurting, not like his fathers poor attempts to maintain a relationship with him. Armin was someone that could handle Eren no matter what he threw at him.

"Thanks. I have to head back now", Armin said carefully pocketing the paper that Eren had handed back to him. He nodded and started to head back out the door but paused as Eren had called out to him before he could disappear.

"Wait! ... your second question, did I give the right answer this time?"

Armin smiled, his eyes were glossy with tears that began to brim and threatened to fall.

"Yes Eren. Yes you did"

***

An entire week had passed and Armin hadn't contacted him again. For a moment Eren considered the possibility that he may be going crazy, and it was all a figment of his imagination when he was daydreaming during his shift. If it was real, then he couldn't be too disappointed, Armin didn't owe him anything. They have only spoken to one another for twenty minutes, so he hadn't even told his mother that he had made his first ever friend out of fear that it would fall through, and she would be upset on his behalf.

His hopes were left in circulation.

That was until he came down in the morning to find his mother clutching a letter in her hand.

"Eren. What is this?"

He didn't answer her. Couldn't find the words and that was rare considering Eren had the tendency to fabricate all types of shit to say. No... words couldn't explain _exactly_ what it was his mother was holding, how could he tell her that it was everything he hoped for, everything he had waited for, dreamed for, and it was there in the palm of her hand. He wasted no time rushing towards her, taking his letter and tearing it open.

The words dripped off the pages.

_Camp Eldia_

_Kingfisher Woodland_

_Greater Manchester_

_Phone: ~~073********~~_

_10/02/21_

_Eren Yeager_

_12 Elder Grove_

_Manchester_

~~_M40 ***_ ~~

_Dear Mr Eren Yeager_

_It is my greatest pleasure to inform you that an impressive recommendation has been put forward and after long review and deliberation, I would like to formally invite you to attend Camp Eldia for the duration of the Summer Holiday period. I would like to apologize for sending an invitation late, since the camp has already been open for two weeks. However, should you choose to accept our invitation, we would look forward to seeing you on Saturday the 23rd, at 9am at Camp reception. As Camp Eldia is a charity funded organization, you are not required to pay for room and board, however should you choose to leave camp during meal times, bringing your own expenses will be necessary. When arriving at reception you will have to go through a brief interview to allow us to create a personal schedule for your benefit. I look forward to having you here with us and a member of Camp Eldia._

_Best Regards,_

_Erwin Smith_

_Camp Director_

His mind... was blank.

"You're not going Eren"

He didn't even spare her a glance, he was reading the letter again and again and again until it would process, "I'm going to go any way mum". Carla's argument, no matter how well-prepared it may be, would do nothing. It would be meaningless, so he doesn't quite expect his mothers sigh of defeat.

"I know you are. That's what scares me so much. I thought that _this_ time I could stop you from doing something I didn't like...but that's one thing about you that hasn't changed. You were born to fight Eren"

"If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you can't fight, you can't win"

"Where have you heard that before son?"

"... I don't know mum, I don't know"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this is my first story on this platform and I really want this story to be great and I'm not sure how the system works, but I know I'd love to find a beta reader. A girl would love the help❤️


	3. Camp Eldia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip #2 Implying a man has a low sex drive is not an effective pick-up line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we see Eren enter Camp Eldia for the first time ever and he may be meeting our favourite short man. I love that after this chapter things start to get a little fucked up, so enjoy the calm whilst it's here...

"Mum, I'm leaving"

Eren shouts. It's early in the morning and the first lights of day are streaming in through the windows. Today was going to be the day that he walks openly into the arena of his dreams and finds everything that he was looking for right before his eyes. He had no expectations, if he had then that leaves the opportunity for disappointment to ruin it all.

But his mother didn't call back.

He calls out again to her and into the void. But, the only sound that calls back is the echo of his own voice, ricocheting from the walls of his home. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and foreboding and stepped away from the door he was prepared to walk away from.

Why wasn't his mother wishing him goodbye?

His living room remained empty and untouched. She wasn't in there. The kitchen also remained unoccupied, the only trace left behind by his mother was a cup of coffee, full to the brim and stone-cold... Each step he took up the stairs creaked louder than the last, the sound amplified in the stillness that resonated in his home. She wasn't in the bathroom, but the taps were left running. Her bed was made, pillows fluffed and sheets neatly arranged as though the room had never been used.

His mum wasn't home... and a loneliness started to settle in.

Eren made his way back downstairs to find things weren't as he left them. Plastic sheets now covered every nook and crevice of the room, draped over table tops and lounge chairs and from the corner of the room the faceless Grandfather clock that they had never owned began to chime, and screamed that time was running out, and yet he had all the time left in the world, how could he be sure that time was moving at all when everything was _frozen_?.

"I'm leaving"

He shouts again. He doesn't know why. His mother wasn't home.

"I'm... You... _You're_ leaving... You have already left"

Of course, she had already left because she didn't belong here. She never belonged here, and he had tried to fill in the spaces of a blank canvas with an inkless pen until eventually the paper had torn. He wasn't leaving, she was leaving.

Because she had left a long time ago.

Because she was cold.

"Because you're _dead_ ".

Eren turns yet again to the door that would leave to outside. He needed to pass the threshold and walk out to the land that still moved in graceful sequences. His palm pressed against the handle, fingers curling round to push and leave, but he is stopped.

"You can't leave Eren. It's dark outside"

And it was. It was the morning, but it was dark. Perhaps the light he saw streaming in before hadn't been there at all because now all he saw when he looked out was nothing at all. He knew that nothing outside his house existed, because nothing outside this home was real. How? How could he forget? It was almost funny how he let himself believe that for just a second that anything beyond this home was accessible to him. He didn't deserve to move on, he didn't deserve the answer to all his questions old and new.

"It's dark outside. It's dark inside"

He turned around to look back, and he was greeted with the darkness like an old friend. The plastic covered furniture laid bare, making shapes in the dark like monsters in the shadows. _Eren_ was a monster in the shadows too. Maybe that was why he was still here and his mother wasn't. It was paralysing, and he couldn't move and there was _fear_. So much fear, but not fear of the shadows in the dark, how could he be afraid of them, it was the shadows in the dark that were afraid of _him_ and it was _he_ who was afraid of _himself_.

The Grandfather clock stopped chiming.

So the panting starts. His chest constricts and caves inwards on himself as he breathes, and he breathes but nothing is coming out, he's choking on _nothing_ , but he still has air to scream. He can't breathe, he can't cool down, he didn't even notice he was beginning to burn up until the feel of hot flames began to lick and thrash at the collar of his neck, and it's hot. _Shit_ , it's so hot, and he can't put out the flames because he's paralysed, and it burns. Oh, _fuck_ it burns so good.

_**He's burning. burning. burning.**_

"Fuck!"

Eren jumps up from where he lay in bed, his alarm rattling from where it was placed on his bedside table and his hand clenched to his chest, he could move now. He could breathe now. He wasn't burning. He was just _dreaming_...

It was just a dream, a horrible one in fact. One that he had never had before. But there was no use dwelling on it because he had better things to do then sit here in his bed and wallow on a bad dream. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and he could hear his mum moving around in the kitchen downstairs with her morning breakfast show blaring from the television in the living room. Of course his mum was alive and she was home. Because she was always home.

And yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that someone had died.

***

_I'm starting to think I'm the king of bad first impressions._

When Eren first stepped through the gates of Camp Eldia, a subtle sense of bliss and harmony had settled within his soul. He almost expected the Angel Peter to be standing by and granting him passage to the little slice of heaven on this earth. The heat of day was perfect and an amiable breeze swept by, it's ghostly tendrils wrapping through the big ass trees of Kingfisher Woodland, and the birds were singing songs mellow and tranquil enough to have coaxed him out of the deep, dark slumber he encountered that morning.

From what he could see, Camp Eldia consisted of three buildings. He couldn't catch a perfect glimpse of the two buildings in the distance that looked as though its foundations had stood the tests of time. But before he could enter the main camp site, He had to check in at the reception building. That task that was easier said than done, considering this receptionist was the epitome of an asshole. The Auburn haired male wore the band that had the insignia of the two different coloured wings. The symbol that had seen many times before. However, the band on his other arm was not a neon Green like he had seen Armin wear, even Isabel and Farlan had worn Green bands almost 10 years ago. But, this man had a Red band like a flaming cardinal.

If he had the patience, he probably would have asked why. But this is Eren Yeager, and he was a restless as a cat on a hot tin roof.

"For the last time kid, I'm not letting you in without the Camp Director saying so!"

_You have a very punchable face, do you know that?_

"I mean. If you took a minute to actually _read_ the letter, you would see that the camp director already knows that I was going to be here at this time!"

The man behind reception glared and huffed forcing too much air out of his nose with flaring nostrils. It was surprising that a shit ton of dragon smoke hadn't come gushing out.

"If this letter is actually real and not a fake, then I can't fucking _wait_ for the Camp Instructor to whip your lippy ass into shape"

"You know you could probably look somewhere else if you hate your job so much"

"I'm not getting paid enough for this"

"Floch!", The receptionist jumped out of his skin as a new voice had demanded the attention of the lobby, and it was a voice that Eren recognized very well. It was Armin, and his cherub face wore a smile like butter wouldn't melt, but his eyes were as sharp as daggers as they moved from Eren and settled on the man that was tenacious in giving Eren a hard time. Floch looked as though he had been punched in the face and set very harshly back in his place, a sight that was so very satisfying that Eren fought hard to keep the roguish smirk off his face.

"He was my recommendation. But, don't worry about it, I can take it from here. You get back to what ever it was you were doing"

"Whatever"

Armin walked over to Eren and took one of his luggage bags from him before nodding his head towards an open corridor in a silent message to follow. The reception building was like a hospital, gleaming and clinical with a smell of sanitizer lingering in the air. The walls were decorated with certificates of success and club achievements. Eren couldn't wait to possibly contribute.

"I'm going to give you this opportunity to warn me about what to expect, are you going to make trouble while you are here?"

"I don't think people go actively out their way to make trouble, Armin"

Armin chuckled, playfully nudging the boy in the shoulder, "So that's a yes then".

Eren shared his amusement, his footsteps falling in time with the other boy, before turning to the first person who had ever given him the time of day, "It's good to see you... _friend_ "

"Yes it is, So. Welcome to Camp Eldia, this is only the reception building, but it's nice I guess. Right now I'm taking you to one of our conference rooms where another one of the workers are going to work through a brief interview process... I trust you not to harass this one"

Eren shrugged apathetically, "Hmm...my impulsivity outweighs my common sense"

"That's incredibly introspective for you"

"What do you mean, _for me_?"

"I asked you what you thought about the sea, and you told me it was _wet_ , Eren"

"Fair point".

They came to a sudden halt as Armin had paused behind what Eren assumed was the interview room. His friend's smile never faltered but something new was behind it, and it wasn't added excitement but rather something crest fallen and bittersweet, and he wondered why this boy had so many expressions that were full of meaning that Eren could never quite understand.

"Listen. I don't want you to be too disappointed Eren, this really is a normal Camp. But, some things are a little different here, and you won't really see me around much outside of meal times... I'm trying to tell you that you're going to be OK"

He was confused by his solemnity, "Thanks... I guess?"

"I mean it Eren. If you feel like things are becoming a bit too _much_ , please come to me or the pastoral team, promise me"

"Uh. Yeah. I promise"

Armin looks into his eyes for just a moment, and it feels as though the boy had cast a line into his soul to search for what ever it was that made Eren tick. He was taking him apart brick by brick as though there were secrets and answers latent in the bricks of his foundations. He was searching for solid proof of Eren's sincerity rather than the abstract promise that Eren had supplied. He apparently found what he was looking for as he then nodded his head and then opened the door to the interview room. His hand was placed on the small of Eren's back, and he pushed him gently inside.

The room was empty, except for an office desk, a couple of chairs and a pretty girl that was texting on her phone, having not yet noticed the presence of Eren and Armin. He could see that this girl was also wearing a Green band on one arm like Armin. However, the band on her other arm had an insignia he had never seen before, they were not wings, in fact he was certain that it was some sort of animal like a horse...or a Unicorn,

As though sensing that she wasn't alone, the girl looked up from where she sat and stared first at Armin and then at Eren. For a few seconds it seemed as though she had no fucking clue what she was looking at until all at once she had been T-boned with a wave of emotion that had her suddenly jumping out of her seat and backing up a few steps. Her mouth dropped open in what appeared to be a silent scream, her brain stuttering to find a connection on what she should feel, being utterly caught between absolute amazement or total dread

_"Holy shit_!", She yelled in a state of panic and was breathing like a 600lbs pig on a treadmill, before having the strength to look away from Eren and to Armin who understood her reaction but was deeply entertained by it.

"But… But… The _Hunter lodge_?!"

"Don't worry... _it's_ still there", Armin replied calmly, leaving Eren yet again fucking clueless to what was going on.

"Fuck...so, this is..."

" _Yeah_ it is."

_Hello. I'm still here, so could you two guys please hurry up with your strange as fuck, silent conversation._

Armin turned to Eren and chuckled as though he had read his mind, "Don't worry about Hitch. She reacted that way because she thinks you're cute"

" _Armin_!"

Eren nodded, even though it made no sense and turned back to the girl, "Oh. You're pretty, but I like dick"

Armin blushed as Eren's tendency to just say whatever the fuck he wanted. "OK. I'm leaving now... Hitch, when you're done take him through the _back_ ", He fixed her with another meaningful look.

"What are you doing now?"

"Telling the Camp Director that I don't think the Green bands should be in the mixed canteen for a couple of days", Hitch nodded at him and watched as he turned to give Eren a comforting pat on the shoulder before turning and leaving the two of them alone.

Hitch stared at him for a little while longer, before chuckling nervously and rubbing the back of her neck, appearing embarrassed for the display she had just put on. She sits back down calmly in her seat, before motioning for Eren to sit down in the chair facing her.

"So…uh, Welcome to Camp Eldia, my name is Hitch. I'm going to go through these forms with you, so we can set you up with an appropriate schedule and make sure you get the correct bands"

"That's fine"

"Name?"

"Eren Yeager"

"Yeah. It is", She says once again drifting off elsewhere.

"Well... _yeah_ ", Eren reinforces as Hitch clears her throat again. When people made things unnecessarily awkward, it never failed to remind him why he sometimes hated to be around other people.

"Birthday?"

"March 30th 2001"

"OK. I'm going to lay three arm bands on the table in front of you, each with a different insignia. Don't worry too much about it, it's just a categorization system. Everyone at Camp is family regardless of these insignia bands, however your activities will be with groups of people with the same band as you"

One band had the wings. Another a green Unicorn like the one Hitch was wearing, and the other were roses.

"Eren. I want you to tell me which band you want to wear. I don't think Armin warned you, but there is a wrong answer"

"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if you guys are making the rules up as we go along", He mutters loud enough for Hitch to hear. She snickers at his tone but proceeds to say nothing. Instead, she remains silent allowing him to think over what he thinks is the correct choice for him. This was some kind of ' _follow your heart'_ shit wasn't it?

He looked firstly at the Band that had the roses on it. If he were looking for something to associate it with, he would say it had a feeling of warmness and inclusivity, he felt as though he was looking into the eyes of an old friend whose face was just too far for his memories to reach, it was inviting and the door was open, but he wasn't quite dedicated to the journey that was awaiting on the other side. No, this band was not for him. The Unicorn band couldn't have been even close to enticing, in fact this one was building pressure, made the walls close in further and left him cold and empty in his seat, this one offered no door but chains to attach to his wrists and ankles, dragging a weight too heavy for him to bare. This band was not for him either. And so there was the final band and Eren knew these wings since his childhood, the first symbols he had ever laid his eyes upon. Without this band he would have never been left to wonder, to dream, to pine about this place, for what he wanted. Armin wore this band, and he was his first ever friend, the only one in Eren's life full of loneliness and delinquency who had given him the time of day. If it were possible to have family ties without the sharing of blood, then perhaps other people who chose to wear these wings could give him that.

And so Eren pointed to the band that wore the wings... and he didn't even care if he answered wrong. None of the others would ever be correct.

"It's yours Yeager"

He smiled picking up the band, getting a feel for it in his hands before putting it on and letting it rest around his bicep. She looked at him wearing it and then nodded her head, Hitch also knew that it belonged there, but then she pulled out another band for his other bicep and handed it over to him reluctantly.

"You're also a Red band"

He noticed that Hitch wasn't entirely pleased that he would not be wearing the same coloured band as herself or the others that Eren knew, but he accepted it nonetheless.

"Campers with a Red band and a Green band have separate activities from one another. It lets the Camp Instructors know where you should be placed", Hitch then turns the the file in her hand and from where he sat he could see a long list of items.

"So, we'll get started to making sure you have an itinerary. Breakfast is served from 9am to 10am every morning. You won't be punished if you choose to skip in favour of sleeping in a little later, but you must be present for roll call by 10:05am and curfew is 11pm. We separate camp activities into three categories"

She points towards the paper. 

"First is educational classes, Camp Director is big on learning, don't worry we're not going to force you through trigonometry classes, I mean unless that's the sort of boring crap you're into. Secondly, we have the Volunteer opportunities, don't let the _volunteer_ word fool you cause it's very much not optional. Lastly, is Personal activities, sort of like hobby stuff...take a read Yeager and just tick off one thing from each that you would like to do"

Wow. They weren't fucking kidding, this camp did pretty much everything he could think of, like what the fuck was _extreme knitting?_

He ticked off his options, starting to look forward to it and handed the file back to Hitch that looked through what he had chosen, "Brilliant. Professor Hange would love to see you in Anatomy class. We'll get you enrolled on the team for woodwork repairs and...you chosen to join the Rugby team, for some reason that's very suiting for you"

She then stands enthusiastically and walks over to the door opposite from the one he had originally entered, "OK. Eren follow me, I'm going to take you to the main site now. Leave your bags, I'll have someone place them in your dorm".

He was glad to finally be outside and heading towards the main camp. He noticed that not many people were around, they must have been in classes or in sports sessions and the few people that were lingering around were all wearing Red bands and ignored Eren's presence. In fact there wasn't a single Green band camper, besides Hitch, in sight.

She finally stopped in the middle of a courtyard that had a view of two, typical, wooden camp buildings that were separated by a waist high picket fence. He had no idea the camp was separated into two?

"That building there is the Paradis building, that's where the people with the Green bands stay. The building that _you_ are staying in is this one here, for some reason we call this one the Underground... there's signs everywhere so it's sort of impossible to get lost"

Hitch starts rambling.

Eren stops listening.

In fact his attention was drawn more to the presence of another person from over the white picket fence. From the distance he could tell it was a guy and Eren didn't need to have 20/20 vision to know that he was attractive. The heat of the day had caused beads of sweat to slip down the coils of his onyx hair, rolling onto his cheek and crawling down over his neck, Eren's couldn't help but follow the movement of his Adam's apple as he swallowed a healthy intake of water and Eren's dick was telling him that he'd be quite good at swallowing something else. (Yes, Eren is vulgar and no he's not fucking sorry about it). It was clear that the man had been exercising as his running clothes stuck to his chiselled form, defining him as what could only be described as a 5"3 walking bag of muscle. Eren really wouldn't mind being kicked in the face by whoever this was. Most importantly, he wore the exact same bands are Eren, except he is a Red band and this man wore Green.

He could also sense that someone was staring at him.

As he turned around to glare at whoever dared to look at him. Eren couldn't help but find the mans scowl enticing, he always admired people that didn't place a fake smile on for the world and allowed their form of expression to be genuine. A pair of dark, grey eyes met his and the storm in this man's eyes began to clear when he looked at Eren and he _really_ looked at Eren. His whole body going rigid and legs turning to concrete. There was something about this silent and still staring competition that knocked the wind from Eren's lungs from the sheer intensity. A thousand different conversations running between them in hushed whispers, no word distinguishable from the other and yet there mouths hadn't moved at all.

Eren couldn't sever the connection. This man had to do it, and so he did. His gaze of surprise manifested into something nefarious and conflicting and he no longer looked at Eren with wonder but with hate that burned so hot, Eren was started to feel it under his skin. This man was _furious_ and had the strength to turn away from Eren and continued to walk towards the entrance of the paradis building, his hard grip turning his knuckles white as he grabbed the handle, yanked the door open and allowed it to slam shut behind him.

_Um...what the fuck._

"Jesus Christ, come on Eren. I'm trying to give a tour here", Hitch grabbed Eren by his sleeve, having no clue to the transaction that had taken place and instead drags him inside the Underground building and towards a shared dormitory with around ten different beds lined inside.

"This is your bed, comfy as fuck to be honest. Look, your bags are already here, guess I must of been chatting your ear off for a while right.

She looked around the room awkwardly. "I'm going to leave you to get settled in. But before I go, there's a few more rules"

"I hate rules"

"These are absolutely non-negotiable. Break them and you will be kicked out effectively immediately and you will not be invited back to return another year"

Hitch was serious and Eren could see that this was one of those times he actually was meant to shut up and listen. "Right"

"You must never leave the dorms after curfew. Do _not_ speak to members with Green bands, other than during meal times. Stay _out_ of the Paradis building. When a code red situation is declared, all members with a Red band _must_ retreat into their room until a Camp leader informs otherwise"

"What's a code red"

"Doesn't matter"

_Right. Obviously it does. But fine, be like that._

Her expression then became grave, it seemed too familiar, almost identical to the look his father gave him the day he announced he was going to leave his family behind, "Most importantly Yeager. You must _never_ , and I mean _never_ go near, around or inside the Hunter Lodge... do you understand"

"Yeah. I guess", Eren shrugged, she hadn't shown him the Hunter Lodge during the tour, so even if Eren fancied breaking the rules, he wouldn't even know where to find it. 

But Hitch wasn't going to accept such a half-assed promise, " _Eren_ ".

" _Yes_. I understand"

"Good. Well... make yourself at home. I think you're going to do good here Yeager, as long as you keep yourself in line"

***

He fell asleep. That's fine, no one was back from their activities of the day and as excited as he was to finally be a camp resident, he wasn't just ready yet to meet a whole group of people in one sitting. 

Even though he was already awake, he lay back in his bed for just a few minutes, his eyes closed and concentrated calmly on his breathing. He liked this, just being suspended in a state of tranquillity. The only sound in the room was the rise and fall of his chest... _until it wasn't_. In fact, he was certain that it wasn't only his breath he could hear any more and a small gust of wind upon his cheek had his eyes flying open just be greeted by another face hovering directly over his.

He screamed unceremoniously and thrashed his limbs around before falling out of his bed, right onto his ass. The girl, whose face had been hovering inches from his own, had simply sat back onto the bed facing Eren's, looking utterly unamused and bored by Eren's very embarrassing display.

"What the _fuck_! _Why_ would you be that close?, I nearly punched you in the throat"

"I'm sorry", she said, sounding not very sorry at all.

Eren huffed in irritation, before holding his hand out in her direction, "So, are you just going to leave me on the ground, or are you going to give me a hand?", she scooted forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet with unnatural strength. He nodded his head in a rigid thanks and started to wipe the dust off his ass.

"Well, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the women's dorms?"

"The dorms are mixed here. They say that we're all adults and responsible for keeping our own body parts to ourselves"

"Looks like you're not really off to a good start"

She shrugged her shoulders, unbothered by his sarcasm and held her hand out to introduce herself.

"I'm Mikasa"

"Eren", he shook her hand and then noticed that something about her was different. One look at her arms answered his silent question.

"You're not wearing any bands"

"No"

"Care to tell me why?"

"No"

"You're not a very good conversationalist are you?"

"Neither are you"

"Yeah. I guess you've got a point... I guess we could be friends, but please don't _ever_ get that close to me again, it's creepy as fuck", She nodded, seemingly satisfied with Eren's declaration of friendship and sat down on the bed next to Eren's, pulling the red scarf around her neck to cover her mouth. He looked her over once before walking over to the window to take a glance outside and was surprised to see that man from before was out there again.

It looked as though he was cooling down from what might have been his second run of the day. He hadn't forgotten there stand-off earlier that day, in fact the very memory of it was printed into his mind. Although, the man seemed furious when he left earlier, he hoped that whatever the man was angry about before, he wasn't so angry now and may be susceptible to Eren's flirting attempts. It was worth the try right? 

"Mikasa, I'll be back in a minute"

She nodded, "I'll always protect you, Eren"

"A normal 'see you in a bit' would have been suffice"

He stepped outside his dorm and began to head towards the picket fence that separated Eren's building from his side. He began to wonder what he could say to get this man's attention. What would be the perfect first line, Eren wasn't much of a charmer, but he was smart. This man was clearly into sports, or exercise at least, perhaps they could bond over that.

"Running right? That's cool, did you know running increases testosterone levels in men by 15%"

_Perfect._

The man stopped stretching immediately at the sound of Eren's voice and stood up to look back at the boy who hovered from the other side of the fence. He was less angry this time, but his face was blank, and he looked at Eren as though he wasn't interested at all in what he had to say.

_Clearly that line didn't work. Time to turn up the heat..._

"It boosts the sex drive"

His expression remained blank, except for the raised, unimpressed eyebrow. His eyes looked into Eren's for a moment, before he looked down at his arms, seeing the bands that wrapped around Eren's bicep, and he didn't appear happy with what he was seeing.

"Red band"

Shit his voice is sexy.

"Well it isn't Green", Eren added sarcastically. Although it was meant to appear playful, but this guy really didn't have the time for Eren's shit.

"You're really familiar, do I know you?"

He was lying. This man wasn't familiar to Eren at all. He was certain that he'd never forget the face of a man as beautiful and intense as he was. But he heard it was a good pick-up line that sometimes stimulated further conversation. Apparently not in this case, the man looked offended at the fact that Eren would even think that he knew him.

He looked over the whole of Eren once, "No"

It was a blunt, sharp answer as he walked away from Eren and back inside the Paradis building, he wasn't even going to give him the time of day. 

_Fine._

Eren turned around and stormed back into his dormitory, Mikasa was sat on her bed watching as the boy practically flung himself back on his sheets and decided to sit and stew in the disappointment of rejection.

"He rejected your advances. That's embarrassing"

"His words said no. But, his eyes said yes."

"No. His eyes also said no"

"You just weren't looking deep enough"...


	4. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip #3 Try not to piss of the angriest man in camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, so sorry for the late update, I had a weird writers block with this chapter, but I finally got it done. By the way, I love your guys comments, it really gives me a kick up the ass with writing. Lots of love and enjoy.

Eren was awoken in the very early hours of the morning. When Hitch first arrived telling him he needed to get up, he thought that he had already missed the roll call on his first full day of being in Camp. Once he noticed that none of the other occupants of the dorm were awake, he then thought he perhaps was in trouble for something else.

But no. Apparently the Camp Director had wanted to meet him. So here he was at the crack of dawn, loitering around in an unfamiliar hallway, having already forgotten which room Hitch had told him to enter. Only one door in the hallway was slightly ajar, so Eren chose to pop his head inside to find someone was seated behind a desk.

"Hello? I got a rather violent wake-up call and was told to come here? Please tell me I'm in the right place or else this is really fucking awkward", He rambled, in which the blonde haired, bushy eye-browed man inside seemed only amused at.

"I can confirm that you are in the right place — Eren Yeager is it?"

Eren sighed in relief and took a confident step into the room, "That's me, and you're Mr Camp Director dude?"

"Yes, I am Mr Camp Director dude, but I answer mostly to Erwin Smith, please, take a seat"

Eren settled down into the seat that directly faced the man. The two remained silent for a moment as though they were sizing each other up. As intimidating as Erwin Smith initially seemed, he carried himself elegantly and a particular kindness gleamed in his eyes as though Eren had already deemed himself worthy of a warm welcome.

"I'm sorry that I didn't have the pleasure of welcoming you to the Camp yesterday, although I hear Armin and Hitch had done a good job...would you say your first day was welcoming?"

Eren nodded and began to relax in his seat, Erwin appeared to be a natural conversationalist, and it was rather refreshing, "Yeah it was alright, although I would probably think about having someone who actually likes people as your receptionist"

"I assume you're referring to Floch. Yes that boy has his up days and down days — which is why you won't mind me saying that in some ways you are quite similar Eren"

"You got _that_ impression from this one-minute conversation already?"

Erwin smiled, seemingly unfazed by Eren's wit and instead reached for a folder that was lay on his desk and was sifting through pages of documents, all the while wearing a smirk that told Eren that he could see right through his shit and needless to say, Eren was curious and Erwin sensed his silent curiosity and chose to humour him.

"School records... It's necessary that I look through these before I consider sending out the invitations — Mr Yeager, you have a very colourful record"

"Is that code for 'little shit'?"

Erwin laughed as though Eren had said the funniest thing he had ever heard. It was a nice, bass kind of sound.

"Yes Eren, you were a _little shit_ , as you so delicately put it — however I don't punish people for having personality, I only ask that whilst you are here you respect rules and boundaries and utilize your skills... I hear you're good at rugby"

At hearing his favourite sport being mentioned, Eren instantly sprung up in excitement, it was something he was most looking forward to and was extremely grateful to find that he could spend his summer here playing it, "Yes! I can't believe you have a Rugby team", He yelled and Erwin was amused by his excitability. 

"We look forward to finally having a new player on the team"

Eren opened his mouth ready to divulge into a lengthy conversation about the sport, however he was cut short by what sounded like manic screaming and heavy thudding footsteps that were getting closer and closer to the room that they were in. He looked back towards Erwin confused and startled by the noise that was getting louder, however the man behind the desk was already pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation as he clearly knew what the source of the noise was and was not in the least panicked by it, in fact he seemed fed up.

"I'm very sorry for this Eren"

"Um... for what sir?"

Suddenly, the door to the room slams open. And in the doorway stood a clearly deranged looking person. Their hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions that defied the laws of gravity. Their eyes were blown wide open behind a pair of square-framed glasses, and they wore the biggest shit eating grin that Eren had ever seen, most importantly they wore a green band around their bicep. The person dramatically dropped to their knees and crawled towards Eren, not saying a word even as they were inches away from his face. Eren's eyes flickered towards the Camp Director as if mentally asking him 'what the fuck', but the crazy person was not deterred. Instead, they drank in every single detail of Eren's face, even running their fingers through the strands of hair that fell loose from where he had tied his hair back. When the person pulled away, he expected them to say something, but instead they broke out in an ear-splitting cackle, that was enough for Erwin to come to his rescue.

"Hange, Please"

"But... It's _Eren_!"

"Yes. It's Eren — and he's a _Red_ band"

Hange look at the Red band that was around his arm and then sunk back in disappointment, Eren had no clue why being a Red band would be so disappointing, but he was relieved that this person had finally backed away from him, "Oh... _Oh_ , that's really a shame, a huge one, I mean there certainly has to be some scientific explanation for it. Say Eren, you're mentally sane right?"

"I am — not to sure about yourself... Um, Camp Director, a little help please?", he pleaded wanting to put a bit more distance between himself and the crazy person.

"Hange!"

"You're really going to suck the fun out of this aren't you! You and Levi haven't changed at all", Hange pouted childishly, before giving Eren his distance and going to stand beside Erwin.

"My apologies Eren, this is Professor Hange, They have always been our very _eccentric_ scientist, but they mean well and there's an abundance of things you may learn from them"

"I'm happy to learn from you Professor Hange, I guess I could give you lessons in return on the necessity of personal space"

"Like there's shit you could say to keep them out your damn face", A new voice added. Eren turned in his seat to look at the person that had entered the room, only to be greeted by the only other person that he recognized from the people he had encountered yesterday.

"Hot, angry, runner guy..."

"The _fuck_ you just say?", the man hissed, ignoring Erwin's smirk and Hange's snort of laughter.

"You hear what you want to hear"

"Permission to kick him in the head"

"Is that a threat or a promise, _sir_?"

For the second time, Erwin found himself laughing at the interaction between the two people and that was matched by Hange who seemed positively gleeful at their exchanged. The man rolled his eyes as he ignored the other two idiots in the room and sat himself down on the couch in the office, his expression indicating nothing but complete boredom.

"I'm going to assume that the two of you have already met", Erwin asked his attention to the man.

"You can assume correctly — you got a shit ton of explaining to do after this, you know that right"

"You aren't the only one that's been kept in the dark", Hange added.

" _Yeah. No shit_ ", Eren muttered under his breath, because Eren was absolutely clueless about most things . Secondly, it was way too early to process anything remotely complicated right now.

"Like I said, I'm really sorry about this Eren. Perhaps if my colleagues could find a minute to act like functional human beings we could continue with a reasonably normal meeting"

Eren nodded frantically, " _Please,_ my brains fried"

"What I really intended to do this morning, was obviously to introduce myself, Erwin Smith as you now know, Professor Hange who you may now be working closely with since you signed up to their classes and also for you to meet Levi here, our Camp Instructor...the three of us also make up the pastoral team"

"The pastoral team? As in the people who care for my physical and emotional welfare?", Eren inquired, taking in the appearance of the three other people in the room. Each drastically different from one another and each supposedly tasked with looking after his well-being.

"That's correct"

" _He's_ on the pastoral team?", Eren had to ask yet again, pointing towards the man, he now knows as Levi.

"Why the fuck _not_? You got a problem with that"

"No sir, why would I?, why _wouldn't_ I go to the man who asked to kick me in the head for physical welfare?", Levi looked at Eren as though he didn't care if he went to prison for possibly murdering the teenager, and Eren almost thought he was going to, if it wasn't for Hange's cackle yet again cutting through the tense atmosphere.

"He's really hilarious this time around isn't he! I bet he was dying to be like this with Levi in the past"

Levi scoffed at them, and instead looked away from Eren and towards Erwin, "Oi. You're hearing this, right eyebrows?"

"I am Levi. It's quite alright, I told Mr Yeager that we don't punish personality, even if it is...different, I don't think you two will have much of a problem getting along"

Now it was Eren's turn to laugh, "You're a hopeful man Mr Smith"

"Sometimes, all humanity needs _is_ hope, Eren Yeager"

Levi scoffed, earning Eren's attention, before the man stood from the couch he sat on and approached the door, " _Right_. It's at least half way through breakfast, I don't think we should starve the little shit any longer".

The three adults in the room shared a silent glance with each other, seemingly communicating telepathically and Eren was becoming quite tired of being kept out of the loop of what ever seemed to be going on. None the less, Levi's attention returned to Eren as he gazed at the younger man with an indescribable emotion before leaving. Levi had proved himself to be a rather prickly character, who most probably struggled to form bonds and yet cared deeply for those he _could_ manage to bond with. In some ways, he found that the two of them were similar in that sense and perhaps a potential friendship wasn't too hopeful at all. Erwin Smith seemed to have faith in them. 

It was a matter of overcoming a defence innate to both of them.

***

As Eren waited in line in what was apparently the mixed food hall, he saw that the majority of people were wearing a Red band. The only people he had seen so far with a Green band was Levi himself who sat in the corner of the room, content in ignoring Eren's existence. Eren was aware that he had no choice but to meet new people today and it wasn't exactly a dreadful thought, but he was apprehensive. 

Once he collected his food, his eyes scanned the hall, looking for an open seat. When unfortunately for him, he locked eyes with an auburn haired woman, wearing a green band and for some reason she burst out crying at the sight of him before sprinting out of the hall. Levi himself followed after her and the two disappeared from sight.

"Eren!"

He turns to find Armin had called out to him and thank fuck for him, otherwise he wouldn't of moved and continued to stare off into the now empty hallway and left to wonder what exactly it was that he did for someone to react to him in such a way.

He walked over to a free seat on the table, plopping down his lunch tray and greeting Armin with a tired smile, "Hey"

"Glad you could join us for breakfast — I heard you went to Erwin's office this morning"

"Yeah, not so sure why I had to be up at the ass crack of dawn... I suppose it was _quite_ a wake up call", He stated, taking a huge gulp of coffee because he had made his mind up that today was a day for caffeine to cope with the bullshit.

"Let me guess, you met Professor Hange"

"You're correct — are they always like that?"

Armin chuckled, "Yes. They have always been that way, I suppose it makes their classes more enjoyable, the others have tried for years to reign them in, but Hange's just one of a kind"

"I like them. They're weird, but I like them", Eren had finally decided and it wasn't as surprising for him as it usually would be.

"Good... I had a look at your itinerary, you have a rugby session to look forward to tomorrow — I'm not to sure what you will think about the Captain of the team, although I have a rough idea"

"Is he an asshole?", Eren needed to know, for research purposes obviously.

"Quite an understatement"

"I can deal with asshole's"

"I don't doubt that"

What could only be described as an absolute mess of a person had suddenly fractured through the two boys conversation, as a girl, wearing a Red band like himself had thrown themselves into the other empty seat at the table. Her glass was filled to the brim with juice and practically splashed all over the table, and food that had been piled up on the plate had started to wobble and fall, causing the girl to mutter a string of curses under her breath, all to the amusement of Eren.

"Are you storing that food away for winter?"

The girl, who now seemed to have a handle on her rather dramatic entrance, snorted before getting straight to work on stuffing her face with toast, "Hell no. The food is free, it doesn't taste like shit, so I'm going to eat it all until I'm in a food coma and can't move for the rest of the day"

"Shit, I guess I'll mind my own business then"

"Hey, I haven't seen you around before, you're new?"

"Yeah. I arrived yesterday, I'm Eren by the way", He held out a hand for her to shake and was very thankful that she had used the hand that wasn't covered in food to return his handshake eagerly.

"Sasha, oh cool, your a Red band too. I prefer the people with Red bands, something about those Green band people just isn't right... Except Armin of course, he's always been a pleasure", She grinned, painfully unaware of the food stuck to her teeth. 

"You flatter me too much Sasha — but please the next time you want to sing my praises you do it when your mouth isn't full"

"No promises", she chuckles. As gross as Eren finds her table manners, Sasha seemed to be a very laid back person. He tried not to have pre-judgements about her, but it was clear that Armin and Sasha got on with one another, and Eren had already decided that he trusted Armin's judge of peoples character, therefore Eren would be happy to offer her his friendship by extension.

"So, how have you found the camp so far?", He asked, knowing that Sasha had probably arrived two weeks prior to himself and could give him more of an insight.

"I think it's great, I've been incredibly active these days and they have no rules against alcohol either, I could invite you round to our dorms next time we have a drink, but there are other rules that are in place without much explanation"

"The rules are necessary, they don't need explanation", Armin deadpanned.

"Sure, whatever you say Armin... anyway, you're going to be alright here Eren, especially now you have me as a friend".

"Great"

"Hey _Eren_? — are you gonna eat that?"

***

Eren had stuck by Sasha's side for most of the day as the rules dictated that Armin was only allowed to interact with them during the meal times and honestly found the girls excitability very refreshing, he wondered if he had met these people during his childhood, would he have been better behaved. With Sasha by his side he was opening to more people that he had met, including a few of the boys that he shared a dorm with.

Mikasa hadn't appeared at all, as peculiar as it was, he was certain they would be able to catch up some time later. But for now, as they got into the later hours of the day, he decided that he could make use of the Camp's running track. If he wanted to impress the Captain of the Rugby team tomorrow, then he had better stay on top of his fitness regime.

He began stretching his limbs prepping for a quick run, when Levi had suddenly appeared. The man was adamant on ignoring him and yet Eren couldn't find it within himself to tear his gaze away.

"Any reason you're here?", Levi suddenly asked, looking towards the boy who didn't even have the shame to pretend he hadn't been staring.

"Does there have to be?"

"Well usually when someone you don't know stands and stares like a gormless shit, you expect them to want something"

Eren snorted and rolled his eyes, "You do know I was here first right?"

"No. I was here first, ten years ago"

"Shit. Sorry sir, I didn't know you was a veteran running track hogger"

"...You've got a fucking mouth on you this time around", Levi mumbled to himself, even though Eren could still hear what he said, and made the assumption that Levi was referring to the couple times they had spoken to one another earlier in the day. 

"Looks like I'm not really the only one that's socially inept"

"Just do whatever you're doing and then fuck off"

"What if I want to run with you?", Eren smirked, he knew already that Levi was not charmed by his attempts of wit, but Levi was always quick to react and he found it very entertaining. 

"Run with me, iron my clothes, unclog the shit from my toilet — I don't care, do what you want, but I don't want anything from you", Levi finalised before taking off running down the track, hoping to have a few minutes of solitude before Eren would undoubtedly continue to annoy the fuck out of him. For once Eren was happy to grant the man a moment of silence and began to run around the track by himself for around half an hour, before he decided he wanted to talk to the man again.

Eren ran quicker to catch up to Levi, before slowing down to his pace so they were running together side by side, "You know you're terrible at being a camp instructor, in fact aren't you meant to be part of the pastoral team? Hey, does anyone _actually_ come to you with advice?"

"Do you think before you talk?"

" _Yes_. That's usually how words are produced"

"You're the only one in a long time that's had the bollocks to talk to me this way"

"Why? Are you untouchable or something?"

Levi gritted his teeth and his fists clenched and unclenched a few times as though he was grasping at all the strength he had not to put a fist between Eren's eyes, "You know, I'd tell you to give it a go, but I can't beat the shit out of people anymore... can get arrested for grievous bodily harm these days"

"What do you mean _these_ days? Can't you get arrested for that... _forever_ days?"

"How articulate"

"Thanks, it's a gift"

Levi came to a sudden stop and faced the boy with a glare that would slay down anything that got in his way. Eren wasn't entirely stupid and he could tell that he was chipping away at the man's composure, but Eren was truthfully a little shit and getting underneath people's skin is what he always did best. Now that was truly a gift.

"Seriously. What the fuck do you _want_?"

"I don't know. To talk? You look like the type of person that probably doesn't have any friends and it was something we have in common, you know bond over shared trauma or some shit like that"

"You don't _know_ trauma — if you did, you wouldn't be wearing that fucking Armband, so don't _ever_ say that shit to me again, do you fucking understand"

These fucking bands. It always came down to what colour band you wore. Eren's was red and Levi's was green and for some reason that was causing a divide that Eren didn't understand, but what he did understand was that he was fed up and angry of being treated like he was lesser than those who wore green. 

"I don't. But whatever...enjoy your run, I hope the lactic acid burns", Eren finally snapped, _fuck the run_. 

Eren stormed away from the running track and started to head back to his building. He might admit later on that he looked like a child throwing a tantrum, but he really didn't care at that moment in time. 

As he approached, he recognised Mikasa sat on the steps of the building, and his temper started to subdue when he eventually reached her. She looked up at him with warm eyes, and he saw she had two cups of Hot chocolate by her side.

"I'm guessing that other cup is for me?"

"Yes. And the towel. You stink"

He rolled his eyes, picking up the towel to wipe of the sweat from his head, before letting it hang around his neck as he took a seat next to her on the step and the hot mug in his hand.

"I haven't seen you all day"

"I was busy", she simply stated.

"Busy doing _what_? We had a free day today"

"You ask too many questions"

"You don't answer enough of them"

"Maybe not"

He sighed and took a sip of his cup. Allowing a tranquillity to settle amongst them. This was nice, this was simple. Just sitting here as the sun sets, next to a person that was good company, no matter how blunt or introverted they were.

"You shouldn't take everything Levi says personally, I'm assuming the reason you came over here angry was because of him. There's things you need to know about Camp Eldia Eren"

"Like what?"

"People are _different_ here, everyone's carrying some form of baggage and only few are aware of that... Do you have baggage Eren?"

"Yes", he stated, without needing to think about it.

Mikasa nodded, nothing more needed to be said. Whatever shit Eren was dealing with was his own, the same way that whatever shit Mikasa had was her own. Should they choose to one day sit and swap spooky stories of their lives in the dark then that would be up to them. But for now, within the 24 hours that they had known one another, they were perfectly content in whatever company or friendship the other had to offer. Sometimes, time wasn't relevant when it came to connection.

"You're smiling", Mikasa noted, seeing the small upturn of Eren's mouth.

"I'm smiling... It's just _strange_ "

"What?"

"I've been troubled for a long time, worried my mum a lot growing up because I was always alone and found it difficult to bond with anyone else. Yet, I've been here a day and I feel like I belong"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Should it be?", He wondered. He didn't know what the usual protocol was for building friendships, or finding places other than home that could feel like one.

"No... I don't think so"

"I only just got here and yet... I don't want to leave"

  
_"I only just got here and yet... I don't want to leave"_

_Being here was everything and yet nothing like he had expected. The sea had proved to be this vast open space, stretching so far into the horizon that Eren couldn't see what waiting on the other side. All he could be certain about was that there were no walls to block his view. No titans to take this away from him. There was just him and the others, a salty smell lingering in the breeze, sand falling between the spaces of his toes and water tickling at his legs. This was something new and untouched, something that he was seeing and feeling for the first time._

_Mikasa stood in the ocean beside him, blessed with the same view but a different pair of eyes. He wondered if she could see what he could see, if it meant the same thing to her as it did him, "It's beautiful"._

_"Armin always said it would be... this is his dream, to find the sea and we have"_

_"This was our dream too", She whispered so softly, her words were almost swallowed by the waves._

_"No — My dream was to be free, to kill all the titans, to experience the world beyond the wall"_

_"We are free, aren't we?"_

_Isn't that the question we all want the answer too..._

_"We're only free of the walls, but we have enemies across the sea who still keep us in chains", It may be beautiful, but it was also temporary and he couldn't settle for limited liberty._

_"That can be a worry for another day. Look around you Eren, what do you see?"_

_His eyes took in the scene before him. The survivors of the 104th were so caught up in bliss that they had no idea to the emotional turmoil that was causing wreckage to Eren's innards. Instead, they possessed an innocence that had been stolen from them the moment they set eyes on their first titan. But here, at the sea they could mess around, laugh, swim to their hearts content, be given back the childhood that they were owed. And watching over them all was Captain Levi, the one person amongst them all who had seen horrors long before they had even been born. His life had been shrouded by the darkness of the underground and the threat of death loomed over his head ever since he reached the surface and yet here was. Babysitting a bunch of brats and yet his heart was the lightest it has ever been. It was because of his hope in Eren that had brought him here._

_Mikasa is right. It is beautiful._

_"It's the results of faith. The faith that these people had put in you, they're happy, why aren't you?"_

_"I am happy Mikasa, I am", and he was._

_"We are alive... So live"_

_He turned to her then, a wide grin growing on his face and it was a breath-taking sight to see. Reaching down, he splashed as much water as he could, only to laugh when she continued the water fight with a childish freedom that Eren hadn't witness her have for a very long time._

_"You know for once Mikasa, you could be wrong, but you always have to right... The sea is beautiful, but we have to ride back to Shiganshina soon"_

_"We do. But at least we know that this is here, it isn't gone, just a little out of our reach"_

_"Then I want to remember this... All of this, in hopes that I will never forget"_


	5. Code Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip #4 The harder the tackle, the bigger the dick energy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW. There's a panic/psychological attack at the end of the chapter.

_Fuck_

Eren woke up in the middle of the night with a startled gasp. And he was burning, his skin practically hot to the touch in a way that was so similar to the nightmare he had when he was home. Except this time the heat was bearable, but that didn't mean he was comfortable, it was like an itch he couldn't scratch. 

He brought a hand up to his head, wiping away the sweat that began to gather at the ridge of his brows. His brown, tousled hair swung as he tried to look around for the source of the unbearable heat, but he saw nothing. The bed next to his was empty, and so was the one after that, in fact... _all_ the beds were empty. It didn't make any sense, he wasn't asleep, he couldn't be asleep. Dreams weren't _meant_ to feel this real, his skin wasn't meant to hurt, the fear was meant to be fabricated... but if this wasn't real, then why was his heart beating hard from it's cage?. 

He wasn't alone.

He looked away from the beds and towards the doors that led to outside. Stood by the door was a figure hidden away in the shadows. He couldn't make out their face, but the silhouette of the scarf they wore around their neck was recognisable. It was Mikasa, and she stood by the door, saying nothing, doing nothing but stare. He didn't need to see her eyes to know that her lingering gaze was fixated on him and only him. 

"Mikasa, why aren't you in bed? Why are you stood by the door?"

She didn't reply.

Her arm risen and pointed towards the door.

He didn't understand. He didn't understand why he was hot, why they were they the only people in the room in the dead of night, why was she content in standing in the dark and why she was pointing towards the door.

Was she expecting him to leave? was there something out there he needed to see?

If this really was a dream, then perhaps this was his subconscious trying to break through to him and tell him something. There was a message that needed to be passed on, but what kind of message would that be? It could be a warning, a positive confirmation, a reminder of something he shouldn't have forgotten. There was really only one way to find out. 

He swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, deciding that he would follow by her rules and see what was awaiting him on the other side of the door. Mikasa still said nothing, she didn't even move as they now stood face to face. Her only purpose was to guide him outside. His hands slowly wrapped around the handle and his breathing steadied, the handle was pushed down, the door opened.

_He stepped through._

He was met by light and it was blinding. He groaned and brought a shaky hand up to his eyes to rub away the sting before lowering his hand and letting his eyes adjust. His surroundings started to become much clearer as he could make out the leaky, brick ceiling above him. It was only then that he noticed that he was laying down in a bed. He was certain that only moments ago he was stood up pushing through a door, but that memory was beginning to fade. He looked around the room from where he lay. It didn't consist of much just a wooden bedside table where a lantern lay on top and a candle that had already burned out.

"Good, you're awake"

Eren sat up from the bed, to find someone that he knew enter the room, they were dressed head to toe in military uniform. The man crossed the room confidently, taking a seat on the wooden stool at the side of Eren's bed.

"C-Captain Levi?"

"Who else would sound so unenthusiastic to see you?"

Eren chuckled, stretching his aching arms above his head, they felt heavy like lead, "Yep. That's _definitely_ you sir"

"Cheeky shit"

Eren took a deep breath and found himself staring at the man sat beside him, taking in the details of his face as though he feared that one day his face would no longer be so familiar. The Captain stared back at him with equal intensity and could see the curiosity behind the young boys eyes.

"You were unconscious for two weeks Eren, we weren't sure if you was ever going to wake up", Eren nodded. He wasn't quite sure how he was meant to react to hearing that for some reason he had become dead to the world for no explanation. All he knew was there was a look in Levi's eyes that told him that the man had been affected by the notion that Eren had left him behind.

_He was lonely without me._

"Where were you?"

_Far away._

"I-I don't know sir... A place without walls, where my mum was alive, where I had already seen the sea", Eren explained, very grateful that it was one of those rare times that the Captain would be patient with him, even if he didn't understand.

"I thought... It might of been Heaven"

"It wasn't?"

He shook his head, and looked down at his folded hands with a frown on his face, "No. I think it was hell"

"What makes you think that kid?"

"Because you were there, but I didn't know who you was... I don't think I'd want to be somewhere I wouldn't know you"

Eren continued to look down at his hands, and his cheeks burned with the embarrassment of revealing his vulnerability before the man. He bared before him his worst nightmare. His relationship with the Captain had been hanging in a state on uncertainty, in which the lines between superior and subordinate were blurred and yet neither had the courage to set anything in stone.

Eren heard his Captain sigh, before he leant forward to place his hand in the younger boys and giving it a comforting squeeze. Although nothing had been defined, they were still allowed to feel...

"I wouldn't want you to forget me either Yeager", With his final words, Levi's hand reluctantly left Eren's and offered him a rare smile before leaving the boy alone in his room.

He stayed in bed for a few moments in an attempt to still his beating heart. For a moment all he could do was think about that strange place where he had been. It was a place where he could look his most oldest friends in the eyes and not have a clue who any of them were. He shook his head, wanting to clear the dark memory and began to dress in his Survey Corp uniform before heading outside.

"What are you doing brat? You should be resting"

Eren looked back to find Levi watching him with his arms folded, Eren shrugged smiling at the feeling of the cold breeze running through his hair and the shadows of the trees cascading over his face, "I feel fine Captain... I was thinking of flying", He chimed, looking up in the air, missing that feeling of being weightless.

"You can't fly Eren"

"I promise I'm fine, I can take the gear and I'll only be a minute or so", Eren argued, running his fingers over the handles on the gear, the cold metal beneath his finger tips.

"That's not why... You _can't_ fly Eren, because you're not really _here_ "

Eren scowled, "W-What?"

"It's time for you to go back now"

"Captain Levi? I don't understand"

" _You have to wake up now_ "

He was awake, wasn't he? Or maybe he wasn't. He would of been certain that he was really here, the feeling in his heart when he looked at the man before him was real. If that was the case, then why was everything beginning to blur around the edges. The rose-tinted glasses were snatched from his face and the Captain before him was becoming further and further away until he was nothing. Until Eren couldn't remember who it was that was stood in front of him not moments ago.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed that he was outside. He looked around rapidly to find he was right back at the beginning again. He was in Camp Eldia and it had all been a dream. There was no denying it this time, everything else before had been a dream, the door he had walked through was all in his head, the place where he could fly had never existed. But now he was _awake_ for real, and it was only then that Eren realised that he had been sleep walking.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He thought that he had managed to kick the habit of sleep walking during secondary school, but for some reason being in this camp had caused his habit to kick start again. He would put it down to sleeping in an unfamiliar place.

He looked around to see where his sleep travels had taken him. Thank fuck for signs because he was somewhere that Hitch had not shown him on the tour. In front of him appeared to be a small hut, no bigger than the size of a classroom and the sign that hung in front of it displayed the words " _Hunters lodge_ ". 

So _this_ was the place. This was the place that Hitch had warned him so adamantly to stay away from and through what could only be described as a sick twist of fate he had sleep walked to this exact place. His curiosity set in like a hunger that was insatiable, he desperately wanted to know why they need to keep people out or even keep what ever it was in the lodge _inside_. 

But not tonight.

Rules were meant to be broken in the bible of Eren Yeager. But for tonight he would sin and leave the lodge well alone. For now, he wanted to forget all about his strange dreams and crawl back into his bed to hopefully fall into a dreamless sleep.

So, that's what he did, unaware that a pair of grey eyes watched him retreat back into the Underground.

***

"That line out was a load of _shit_! Come on team, run it again, swap Cooper out and we'll put in Lynch as hooker!"

Today was the day that he finally got to play the sport that he lived for. In his eagerness to finally get back on the field, Eren had completely forgotten all about his strange dream last night and the fact that he was sleep walking again. He was so excited that it took him twice as long to lace up his rugby studs, much to the amusement of Mikasa who sat on the bench beside him.

"You're not going to get yourself hurt are you Eren?"

"Why? You're worried about me already"

"Yes"

Eren rolled his eyes at her naturally protective nature, "It's _Rugby_ , no one walks away from a proper game unscathed — don't worry I've been playing long enough"

"It doesn't matter how long you have played. I just don't want you to make an idiot of yourself with an audience watching", She stated, nodding her head towards one of the seating stands that were aligned on both sides of the pitch. Rugby was apparently one of the most popular sports played in Camp Eldia and both Red band _and_ Green band residents would sit in to watch training sessions and practice games.

"Mikasa, I could give less of a shit if the _pope_ was watching... It's the game I'm concentrating on"

"Armin's watching"

"Cool"

"Looks like he came here with _Levi_ "

His head instantaneously shot up to find that Armin and Levi were _indeed_ sat side by side. Armin wore a huge smile, pointing towards various players on the pitch, leaning towards Levi and giving his comments on the action. Despite Levi's usual demeanour to appear as though he really didn't give a _shit_ about anything other than himself, his body was angled towards the blond haired boy and giving him his unwavering attention indicating that he cared about whatever Armin was telling him and had a small fascination with the game itself. Eren found himself staring at Levi, before a snort from Mikasa pulled him from his trance and he looked away with a frown.

"I knew it"

" _Shut up_ "

"I haven't implied anything... Although I suppose you have more than the team captain to impress _now_ ", She teased, nudging her shoulder playfully into his side. 

"Haven't you got a corridor to go haunt or something?"

"Touchy"

He rolled his eyes at her before standing from the bench and running to the centre of the pitch, aware that there were now multiple eyes watching his every movement. The new players, that included himself, started with a few warm-up exercises which included sumo squats, high knees and a quick jog around the length of the pitch before they were instructed to line up in the middle for group introductions.

"Welcome to Camp Eldia's Red band Rugby team. I'm first team Captain Jean Kirstein, let's make something clear, I don't give a _shit_ if you don't like how I run things, I only care about having _good_ people playing under _my_ instruction, so if you can't tackle, run or kick for shit, the exit is over there... "

_Armin was right. This guy is definitely an asshole._

"Oh... So you all think you got the bollocks for it. We'll see, I want to know what positions you boys play"

Jean moved down the line, asking each boy what position they usually played, some being kicked off the pitch before the practice game had even started. Apparently, _anyone_ was welcome to play the game, however today also paralleled as a try-out for the official team.

"So, what position am I meant to put _you_ in bug eyes?", Jean asked, standing in front of him and looking Eren up and down from head to toe.

"I'm a prop Captain"

Jean snorted and shook his head, " _Prop_? You sure? you might have some muscle on you, but you're still a gangly little shit... reckon you're more of a winger than a prop"

"If I was a winger, I would of said I was. I'm a prop"

"Ha, well aren't you a feisty bastard... Prop huh? Reckon you could tackle me down don't you?"

Eren imitated what Jean had done only moments ago and looked Jean from head to toe. He was a built guy and was equally as tall, but that didn't mean that Eren hasn't lay men bigger than Jean was flat on their ass.

"Without a doubt"

"We'll see"

For the first half of the practice game, Eren was sat on the sub's bench. He didn't mind because it gave him to opportunity to scrutinise the team's technique. It looked as though Jean was a prop himself and as good as Jean was, Eren had aggression on his side. He was certain that he would easily take Jean out as soon as that window of opportunity was opened. He looked towards the spectators bench to meet Armin's smile as his friend waved towards him and mouthed him good luck. Beside him, Levi turned to look at whoever Armin was signalling to and then offered Eren his middle finger when their eyes met. Eren couldn't help but laugh at him in response before Jean was calling out to him.

"You're playing as the _loose_ head prop, let's see if you have the aggression to match that mouth of yours"

Once he was off the bench and positioned on the pitch. He placed his mouth guard in and instantly fell into game mode. The opposing side kicked the ball in the air and once someone on his team had caught it, the game was in full motion.

"Attacking line!"

Eren yelled, his natural instincts to lead kicking in and was satisfied when the boys on his side obeyed his instruction and instantly fell into an attacking line with depth. Eren made sure that he was with two other players at all times as they ran lines, made tackles and jumped into rucks. The Scrum-half picked up the ball and threw it to the boy on Eren's right that had called Lead. The boy had caught it and began to run head on towards the other teams defensive line. From in front of him Eren could see a big enough space for him to run through without having to take a tackle.

"Tip!"

The boy through the ball towards him that Eren caught it with ease and successfully ran through the space, breaking the defensive line of the other team. He ran almost half the length of the pitch before he could see the opposing team's winger quickly catching up to him. He tossed the ball to his left knowing that he would be tackled to the ground before he could score a try. By doing so, the player that he threw the ball to was successful in running to the end and placing the ball over the try line, earning them Five points.

Eren smiled at his team scoring the first try of the second half and was congratulated for his assistance. He turned and ran back to his position on the other half of the pitch, smiling towards his friends in the stands and he could see that Sasha had now joined the spectating crowd.

"Good use of space", Jean called to him as they passed by one another.

"Cheers"

The game had started again and Eren was able to get his team to work cohesively, however at one point during the match a member of his team had thrown too late and the ball was caught in motion by a member of the opposing team, indicating a turn over. 

"Defending line boys! Those gaps are too fucking wide!"

Their defending line was weaker than their attacking line, as his team were allowing themselves to be pushed further back. Jean recognised the weakness on Eren's team and therefore took the opportunity to catch the ball and attempt to break through the defending line towards where Eren was waiting. Eren knew for sure that he was _not_ going to let Jean break through and had a point to prove.

The point being that nobody underestimates the force that it Eren Yeager.

Eren ran straight towards him, until the two bodies collided with one another. He crouched down so his body was lower than Jeans, then allowed his arms to wrap all the way around Jean's thigh before slamming the boy into the ground barely registering the "Ooo" sounds resonating from the crowds.

_Ladies, Gentleman, Non-Binary and Gender fluid, my name is Eren Yeager and I've just slammed to shit out of the team captain._

After his tackle, he sprung back up on his feet and watched Jean hiss in pain on the ground for a minute before holding out a hand for the boy to take. Eren may be lacking a few things, but what he didn't lack was good sportsmanship. Surprisingly Jean accepted Eren's hand and allowed the boy to help him to his feet, wincing as he stood before him. 

" _Fuck_... What the fuck is your name?", Jean asked, rubbing his back to soothe the pain.

"Eren"

"You're a fucking _twat_ , you know that Eren", Eren nodded because he knew he was a twat, he wasn't going to deny that.

"But you're a brilliant player! _Shit_. You're gonna play for our official team right?"

"If you're offering"

" _Fuck yeah_ I'm offering — we play a big game against the Green bands every summer, I need you on the team if we're going to wipe the floor with those fuckers", Jean yelled, his hands thrown up in the air.

"Count me in"

" _Hmm_. You ain't too bad Eren"

"You ain't too bad yourself"

Jean rolled his eyes, before patting Eren on the back, "Yeah yeah, whatever, come on, we got to finish this game", The two of them headed back to their positions and Eren couldn't help but steal another glance of the crowd. Armin and Sasha were jumping all over each other in excitement of the _huge_ tackle Eren had made, whereas Levi was no longer disinterested in him, but infact had an eyebrow cocked up and looked at him as though he were mildly impressed.

Camp Instructor Levi was impressed by alpha male tendencies. _Good to know._

***

"Here he is, our sports man of the hour", Armin cheered as Eren took a seat at the table where Sasha and also Jean were sat at. 

"Hardly", Eren chuckled deeply.

"What do you mean hardly! I stayed for that whole game and I couldn't take my eyes of you"

"I _knew_ you have a flirting issue"  
  
Armin laughed at him, throwing food in his direction that Eren dodged with ease. Although, Sasha had caught that food with ease and put in on her own dinner tray before turning to Eren with a huge grin.

"He's not lying Eren! You was brilliant to watch, I swear I don't know why but watching you was making me super hungry"

"Don't you mean super _horny_?"

"Gross Jean", Sasha whined, attempting to hide the flush in her cheeks.

Jean then turned towards Eren who was sat beside him, "Yeah, you were good, but don't start sucking your own dick now, there's some good players on the Green band team too"

"We're just gonna have to be better"

"You can say that again", The two smiled at each other before engaging in a bro fist that made Armin shiver and then shake his head, "I don't think I'll _ever_ get used to the sight of you two getting along", he offered as explanation for his reaction.

"Why is that?"

"Oh nothing... It's just a little _unexpected_ "

The four of them continued to eat dinner together, swapping stories of what they had done during the day and memories of the Camp that had them laughing until they had stitches in their sides. Eren found that Jean was very boisterous and extroverted. He understood why people would think Jean was a prick and truthfully Eren was also a prick, but rather then be pricks with _each othe_ r, they could be pricks to everyone else _together_. The food hall was in high spirits, more members with Green bands were using the mixed food hall and even though they would sometimes stare at Eren, none had yet burst into tears so at least that was a positive.

Jean was in the middle of telling the table about the time he tackled someone so hard he had made the person shit themselves, when the sound of something smashing to the ground had rung out loud reducing the food hall to silence. Eren looked up in the direction of the sound to see a girl, wearing a Green band, stood in the middle of the room. Her eyes were glazed over with a distant stare and her body was trembling. At first Eren thought that he was witnessing someone at the beginning of a panic attack, but that was put to bed the minute to fell to her knees to release blood curdling screams, her nails clawing at the ground beneath her.

"It won't stop!", she cried hysterically. The pain in her voice was so powerful that Eren was frozen in his seat unable to tear his eyes away from her.

"I-It won't stop _eating_ him!"

_Eating him? What won't stop eating him?_

"M-Make it stop! _Please_!", She cried and cried over and over again, repeating the words like a mantra.

"Oh fuck!"

Armin jumped up from his seat and picked up the whistle around his neck and blew into it. The sound was some sort of signal, because it was then that Levi chose to get up from his seat and run towards the doors of the canteen, holding them open and looking back at the occupants in the hall.

"It's a fucking _code red_! Red bands to your dorms _now_!"


	6. If Looks Could Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip #5 Don't come between a man and his sex dungeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for a later update, I had quite a bit of Uni work to catch up with, also watched the England vs Wales rugby game today! Here's the next chapter, sorry it's rather short.

He couldn't move.

He wouldn't move. His body had simply given up sending those electrical impulses to his brain. Every muscle in his body begged him to leave the hall and follow the mass of Red Band campers that we're retreating back to their dorms. His conscience pleaded for him to leave this girl behind in peace, her grieving and her pain were not for his ears to hear. 

When Levi had first declared the code red, Eren had grabbed onto Sasha and Jean who were just as panicked as he was, but they were more forward thinking and were ready to obey the rules. His friends were making an active effort to not look at the screaming girl. Eren thought that perhaps they had already seen a situation like this before and that was why they were able to act so calm.

However, it was when Eren was on his way out that the distressed girl had looked in his direction, her eyes burned into his retina's and her look was dissonant and accusatory. Eren didn't know what he had done to deserve a look as vindictive as hers, what he did know is that he was unable to move away from her gaze. His mind had him phrasing a million different apologies for an offence that he didn't know he had committed and yet he had to swallow his tongue to avoid a blundering mess of words from stretching across the distance between them. She looked at him as though he had destroyed everything she had. 

How could he walk away from her, when something deep within, told him that he _deserved_ to be looked at this way.

It wasn't until a careful hand was placed on his lower back that Eren able to walk away from the hysterical woman. Eren was only mildly aware that it was Levi himself that was ushering him away and back towards his dorm, however the silence that ensued between them allowed for frantic and radical thoughts to swill around in his head.

What on earth had the woman been screaming about? What could have been a potential trigger for her to have such a sudden outburst in the middle of dinner service? It now became clear exactly what a code red situation was. But for such precautions to be taken, that must mean that things like this must happen frequently. But for something like this to happen so often it begs the question of what exactly is wrong with the Green Band campers?. Up until that very moment, Eren was convinced that the Green bands thought themselves superior to those who wore Red... maybe that wasn't the case at all.

What the actual fuck was going on at Camp Eldia and why did he have this cynical feeling that he was at the centre of it all?.

Levi had led Eren right up to his bed, continuing to say not a word as though he was aware of Eren's internal battle and decided that silence was the best kind of comfort he could provide for him. He then left Eren without a word or a lingering gaze and just before Eren closed his eyelids to sleep, one single word had waded it's way through the sea of lexis swarming his mind and that word was...

 _Titan_. 

***

It was no surprise that Eren had another haunting nightmare that very night. The same girl from before had stood at the foot at his bed. She was no longer crying but instead she hurled insult after insult, calling him a monster, a traitor to humanity and she screamed at him until her throat was sore and worst of all Eren couldn't do a thing. He couldn't move, he couldn't call for help, he couldn't even ask why he was something to fear in her eyes.

And once again, as soon as Eren had woken up from his nightmare, he found that he was outside again, stood right at the door of the Hunters lodge.

His sleep walking was not getting any better and his mind was becoming darker.

He huffed in exasperation and annoyance at the lack of sleep he was getting and turned around to walk back towards his dorm. Suddenly, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of heavy footsteps and a flashlight being shone in his face.

"What the fuck are you doing out here!", The flashlight was lowered so Eren could look clearly into the eyes of Levi and despite his obvious anger, Eren was too disorientated to take heed of the man's indignation.

"I... I don't know"

"Don't lie. I've seen your records Yeager and even if you fancy yourself a trouble maker, when you're here you follow the damn rules!"

Eren shook his head and held his hands up in defence, "No. Honestly, I didn't just walk out here"

Levi scoffed at him, his eyes flickering between both Eren's and the ominous lodge that he was trying so hard to defend. Levi's behaviour only added further suspicion about what was really happening at the camp, "You expect me to believe you somehow teleported from your room to the Hunters lodge?"

"If you stop shouting at me maybe I could get a fucking word in and explain!", Eren shouted back and the look on Levi's face told him that it wasn't very often that someone would raise their voice to him, but quite frankly Eren was feeling overloaded with emotions that he couldn't understand and he wanted Levi of all people to understand him better than he could himself.

"I-I've been sleep walking"

"What?"

Eren shrugged, running his hands through his long hair noticing Levi's eyes following the movement, "I don't know why but I've been having bad dreams about things I don't understand and every time I wake up... I wake up here"

"You didn't just make up a load of shit did you?"

"No! I didn't — if you don't believe me then watch me for the next week or so and you'll see for yourself". Both men looked at each other, one begging for understanding and the other wanting to understand.

"Fine, but if I find out your lying, you're out of camp Yeager"

"Good thing I'm not lying then! Now excuse me, I'm going to bed", Eren huffed. If it were any other night, Eren would consider himself lucky to find himself alone with the camp instructor, but tonight he was tired and frustrated. So with one last look, Eren stormed past Levi and headed back inside his building and not for the last time hoping that the rest of sleep was dreamless.

True to his word, Levi had kept a close eye on Eren. When he wasn't in classes or rugby training, Levi would watch him eat, watch him talk to his friends and then watch as each night Eren Yeager would sleep walk right to the Hunter Lodge and always wake up just before the boy could walk inside.

This routine had lasted as long as a week. Eren tried to act as though nothing was different, as though his sleep walking was just a funny little habit that was tedious but not foreboding. But some mornings he'd find that he'd wake up with sore shoulders and red marks adorned his skin as though he had been tied down with tight straps each night he went to bed. His friends hadn't yet said anything about the changes in his behaviour. Sasha continued to be her happy and at times overbearing self and yet at night he dreamed of burying her six feet beneath the ground. Jean continued to be his asshole in crime and yet at night Eren dreamed that the two of them _hated_ one another with a burning passion. Mikasa continued to appear at his weakest moments to offer her support and protection and yet at night he dreamed of her blood dripping between his fingers.

But Eren would continue to act as though everything was ok. Because they were only dreams after all...

"You know if we're going to keep meeting like this — we should just hurry up and go on a date, the sexual tension is overbearing", Eren said with a smirk as he turned towards the approaching man after Eren had yet again awoken from a night of sleep walking that had led him to the Hunter's lodge.

"You're shameless", Levi commented, handing the boy a flashlight and turning to walk back to his building beside Eren.

Eren chuckled as Levi's typical dismissive nature, "No, you're just very reactive. I wouldn't bother you so much if you didn't react so strongly"

Levi turned to look at Eren, raising a callous eyebrow, "What makes you think you effect me in _any_ type of way, what so ever?"

"It's in your eyes... it's _always_ in your eyes"

"Shut the fuck up, Eren", Levi huffed. Eren's smirk dropped off his face and he stopped walking to turn his full body towards Levi in confrontation. As much as he enjoyed the man's nonchalant demeanour, Eren began to wonder if it was something that he should take personally.

"What is it? What is it about me that makes you this way? I see the way you talk to Armin like you respect him. You don't know me and you won't give me a chance...", Levi glanced at his expression, before sighing in defeat and continuing to walk slowly to the building.

"I knew a brat like you once"

Eren turned his head back to Levi so quickly, that the older man almost laughed at his surprise. He hadn't actually expected to get anything out of him, but it seemed that Levi was willing to open up, "What we're they like?"

"Pathetic most of the time, a stuttering mess with an explosive temper that got him into more trouble than he was subjectively worth"

"I'm hoping there's a but..."

" _But_ , he had this really annoying sense of determination that I couldn't help but trust and I knew that he trusted me in return. We had a really shitty life and people dropped like flies around us. Honestly death for both of us would of been a fucking pleasure...but he made living a little more bearable"

Eren took a deep sigh. He was certain that Levi didn't mean it, but Eren was more perceptive then people would give him credit for and as much as Levi made it sound as though this person he once knew was a nuisance, he couldn't hide the affection and fondness in his tone when he spoke about them. Sometimes these types of things happen, sometimes you might let the wrong one in and they will change all expectations or standards that you ever upheld, they make you work on things you had long given up on, and it's usually not until the last minute that you realise that the wrong one was the right thing you weren't looking for. It happens to the best of people. Even Levi.

"It sounds like you loved him"

"I didn't... Not _then_ anyway. Shit happened and he wasn't himself anymore, he couldn't see or hear but I stuck around even if he didn't know I was there, I stayed and chatted endless shite to someone who couldn't tell me shit in return, I did that even when I fell sick"

"What happened then?"

"I got a new life. I wasn't ill anymore, I fucked off and lived somewhere new, met a few old friends again, started working this piece of shit job with those asshole friends that I couldn't get rid off but I never forgot about that brat"

 _A mind wants to forget, but a heart will always remember_.

"So you never saw them again?"

"Yeah I _did_ , same face, different person and they didn't have a clue who I was... Guess I was gone longer than I would have liked".

Eren nodded his head as he took in everything that Levi had told him. He was conflicted in how to feel. He was happy that Levi had once found someone that had been what he needed without realising he need it, but it was bittersweet as he acknowledged the pain that he must of felt. Levi must of struggled to understand or even articulate how he felt and at it's most crucial moment, it was for nothing because Levi had been forgotten and it really isn't until you lose something that you realise how important it was.

"You realised you loved them when you knew you couldn't have who they were anymore"

"Hm", Levi nodded, his expression unreadable.

"But... That doesn't explain why you don't want to talk to _me_ "

"When I look at you I see their face, but the words doesn't belong to _them_ , they belong to _you_... You aren't them"

"... For what it's worth. You have been very talkative tonight Levi — I may not be _that_ brat, but I'm a _brat_ all the same, don't write me off for someone else"

Eren offered him a sympathetic smile and he didn't care how much Levi didn't want his pity. He would give it to him anyway and it was then Eren decided that Eren would give his companionship. Nobody deserved to be forgotten.

"Good night Levi"

***

  
"You look like shit"

_Mikasa, isn't she just a fucking pleasure._

Eren sat himself down on the bed next to hers. As much as he appreciated honesty, he really didn't need to hear it today. He had a week's worth of bags under his eyes and his hair was an dishevelled mess that he _really_ couldn't be arsed fixing, "I'm still trying to understand why it is that I don't see you all day until we're alone and when I _do_ see you, you don't have anything nice to say"

"That's not true"

"Well go ahead, say something nice about me"

She looked him from head to toe, before snorting at him and shaking her head.

"I can't, you look like shit when you're tired"

Eren threw his hands up in defeat before throwing himself down on the bed, his eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, " _Fantastic_ ".

He heard Mikasa sigh, before she stood up and sat herself down on the edge of his bed, "I'm worried about you Eren"

"Don't be"

"I can't help it. I know you're not sleeping very well and it's started to effect you during the day"

"Yeah, what the hell do _you_ know, you're never in bed when I wake up, you still walk around here without wearing any bands and you won't answer anything I ask of you... So you're not exactly the _first_ person I think would be worrying about me", as soon as he glanced over to the fallen expression on Mikasa's face, he regretted snapping at her. Truly, nothing was her fault and it wasn't very often that he would meet people that actually gave a shit about him.

"I'm sorry", She whispered. Eren sat up instantly and placed a comforting hand over her own.

"...no, _don't_... I'm sorry, I'm being an asshole"

"You're not wrong though. I'm not telling you much about what's going on", She muttered, burying her face further into her scarf. It was a habit Eren found to be quite adorable.

"You're not the only one, so don't worry about it"

"I think it's important for you to understand things on your own"

"Don't be enigmatic, it's freaky", He laughed and he laughed louder when he saw the corners of Mikasa's mouth lift up before she slapped him playfully on the shoulder. However Eren didn't do well to hide his wince when her hand slapped over the sensitive parts of his skin.

"You're hurt"

"I've been waking up like this for the past few days... _look_ ", He took of his top to show her the red marks on his flesh. She leaned forward and traced the marks with a gentle touch.

"Is it something you have been wearing lately?", she inquired.

"No, my casual clothing are quite loose fitting, it's only my rugby gear that's tight, but not enough to make marks like this"

Mikasa frowned, resuming a gentle touch, "I don't like that you're in pain"

"It's fine. It may sound strange but it's a _familiar_ sting, but, I'm glad you can see this as well, it confirms something that's been worrying me"

"What have I confirmed?"

"That I'm not losing my mind"

  
***

  
"Eren!", Eren didn't even need to turn around to know that it was Levi approaching him in the dead of night. It had now been a week and a half since Eren proposed that Levi kept an eye on him and see that the younger man had been sleep walking, and yet again, he had been caught in the act.

"I've been watching you", he spoke as he finally reached where he was standing.

"You know that's not something you're meant to admit right", Eren chuckled rubbing his tired eyes.

"You were right", Levi muttered as though the words were incredibly hard to get out.

"Sorry, could you say that again? For a moment there I thought you was admitting to being _wrong_ about something"

The older man turned to look at him and Eren felt himself literally shiver at the silver glint in the mans narrowed eyes, "I could kill you and no one would know"

"Shit, I'm just joking", Eren held his hands up in defence, it's not like he could do anything if Levi did choose to attack him. The man might of been smaller than average, but Eren had seen many demonstrations of the man's strength around camp to know that Levi could bend him like a pretzel without even trying.

"How long have you been sleep walking for Yeager?"

"That's the thing... I shouldn't be doing it anymore. It was habit when I was around 16 but It stopped before my 17th birthday"

"So why now?"

"I don't know", He shrugged, nervously scratching the back of his neck. He couldn't deny that he felt scrutinised and also a little helpless, all of a sudden everything was becoming a little harder to deal with and without his mother to talk to, he didn't really know if anyone could provide him with the actual comfort he needed.

"Is something bothering you?", Levi asked, apparently he was capable at reading Eren's moods rather easily. In all honesty, Eren found that very disarming. 

"You _care_?"

"Not really — but i'm on the pastoral team, so if there's a problem your meant to cry to me and I can pass the message on to someone who does care like Hange"

Eren huffed at his response and crossed his arms rather childishly, "You know you don't make a very convincing argument for me to _want_ to confide in you at all", He whined, sticking his tongue out at the man for extra impact. However, Levi only rolled his eyes at him before grabbing Eren by the arm and proceeding to walk him back to the Red band building.

"You're sleep walking is irritating. So if telling me that there's something bothering you will solve it then I will be willing to help"

"Does my sleep walking bother you?"

" _Yes_ ", He announced as though that was very obvious. Who the fuck _wouldn't_ be bothered by watching some Nineteen year old brat, sleep walk every fucking night and end up somewhere he strictly isn't allowed to be. But Eren didn't believe it was because he was hindering the older mans sleep, he had become increasingly aware of how defensive he was and whatever was in that lodge must mean a great deal to Levi. It was something he either wanted to _hide_ or something he needed to _protect_.

"Is it because of where I always end up sleep walking to? It's that lodge isn't it?"

Levi stopped abruptly, his grip around Eren's arm only slightly tightening, "Leave it Eren."

"What exactly is it in there that makes you so defensive?"

"Fuck all for you to see", Levi finalised and continued to drag the boy with him. It was clear that Levi was fresh out of fucks to give when it came to providing answers, so just for tonight, Eren was willing to admit defeat. Not without teasing the man any further of course.

"... It's a sex dungeon isn't it"

"If I say yes will you shut the fuck up and never mention it again"

Eren hummed as though he was considering it, "It might satisfy me for a while"

"Then _yes_ , it's a sex dungeon"

"Knew it", He smiled, holding back a chuckle when he swore he noticed the flinch on Levi's top lip as though the older man himself was holding back a smile of amusement. 

"Unfortunately for the both of us, I've agreed with Erwin that it would be best for us to meet up a few times during the week so you cry on my shoulder or what ever the fuck you need to do to feel better"

Eren practically jumped with glee when he realised this meant that Levi would now willingly choose to spend time with Eren during the day and not just during their late night rescues. Levi might not give much away about himself, but Eren felt like he knew enough to know that Levi was human just like everyone else, he was a caring man and deserved to have people that cared about him in return. It was the type of friend that Eren wanted to be for him, "I don't mind, it gives me the opportunity to work my way up to being your favourite person... _Hey_ does this mean I can join you on your runs?"

"No"

"I'm going to join to anyway", Eren decided.

"Then why bother asking"

"It's polite apparently"

"You're going to be the death of me, Eren Yeager"

"What are friends for!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I thought it was really important to add, that things will really start to go downhill and can be a little fucked up, so if anything gets really confusing as in I have poorly portrayed something, please comment and let me know so I can rewrite and make the concept clearer! Thank you love you all


	7. Tears left unshed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW. Blood and Death (In italics)  
> * Thought it was important to say that even though i'm up to date with AOT at the moment, This story will only follow canon to Chapter 105, after that It completely diverges, therefore the past deaths in this story are not canon, except for the ones up to that chapter of course :D

"Look alive bright eyes! Didn't anyone tell you it's dangerous to doze off around sharp equipment"

Eren turned sharply in his seat, to watch as Jean sauntered his way into the classroom. During the week that Levi had been assessing him from afar, Eren had spent a large majority of his time getting closer to the burly lad. After their first meeting, despite having gotten on well, Eren was worried that the initial novelty of having a new friend would wear off and the two would begin to mix like water and oil.

Fortunately, Eren found that the two of them were similar in many ways. They tended to speak what was on their minds, both were equally as wary of the Green band people which led to some _very_ interesting conversations when the two of them would get drunk together. Therefore as much as an asshole as Jean was, Eren was drawn to him like a moth to a lamp, perhaps if they had met under more stressful and pressing circumstances their resulting friendship may not come to fruition.

Thank god it was Rugby that brought them together.

"Tell me why you're in my woodwork repair class again?", Eren teased, quickly dodging the hand that had tried to clip him in the back of his head as Jean slumped himself onto the stool beside him.

"Don't pretend you aren't bored as fuck when I'm not around"

"You're still _irritating_ as fuck, you know I take it out on you in Rugby training?", Eren teased, holding back a chuckle as he recalled last nights training session when he would deliberately ignore Jean when he called for the ball, simply because pissing him off brought him such joy.

Jean scoffed at his friend, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, whatever as long as you keep giving it 110% I couldn't really give a shit".

Eren threw his head back in a laugh, ignoring the glare that the girl that sat across the table from them sent him, obviously having broken her concentration as she was carefully trying to screw a loose bolt in what looked like a picture frame.

He turned his attention back to the box that lay in front of him and reached for the instruction manual that gave him a step by step guide of how to put a table together. The more he thought about it, he had no idea why he chose to take the woodwork repair class. There was simply nothing worse then getting a bunch of splinters and having your hands constantly cramp up. Then again, the other people in the class were very relaxed and Eren often viewed this time as his cool down time. It was never really too late to get into a new hobby.

Just as Eren started to get a hand on how to assemble the table, Jean leaned towards him to whisper in his ear.

"Did you hear the gossip?"

"I didn't know you listened to gossip Jean"

Jean gasped dramatically and clutched his chest in mock offense, "How _dare_ you, are you kidding, I'm a gossip _queen_! Anyway you didn't answer my question"

"You're gonna tell me anyway"

Jean clicked his tongue at Eren, annoyed that he wasn't going to play his little guessing game, "Prick. No, I was trying to get some intel on whose going to play for the Green band team. Those bastards have only gone and got Camp Instructor Levi to play"

Eren nearly threw the table leg in his hand across the room in surprise, before whipping his head round quickly to gawp at Jean who was in stitches at Eren's reaction, "What?! Levi plays rugby?"

"Not usually, but all of a fucking sudden he's ready to go against us... Hmm, I wonder why", Eren watched Jean scratch an invisible beard pretending to be in deep thought, he responded by sighing and rolling his eyes at Jean's antics.

"You're shit at being subtle, go on, what are you trying to imply?"

"Nothing, just noticed that you and him have been hanging around quite a bit", Eren scoffed trying to hide what he could only understand as satisfaction bubbling to the surface. He didn't know why, but he liked the idea that people were aware that him and Levi were getting to know each other on a personal level. Eren was certain that the only people that Levi allowed himself to be approached by was Hange, Erwin and Armin. He felt as though he had been specially chosen as an elite member of Levi's friend squad. As much as the man may act as though Eren was a nuisance to be around, he knew that deep down Levi cared about him and would go out of his way for Eren.

"So what, you and I have been hanging around a bit"

"Yeah, but unfortunately for you I like woman so my sweet little ass is off limits... _Levi's_ however might be up for grabs", Eren choked on his spit at Jean's declaration. It was very obvious that Eren found Levi attractive, and after he was sweaty from a jog, sometimes he was downright erotic. Then again as much as Eren liked to flirt and tease Levi, he wouldn't push the boundaries with him. Right now, Eren was happy to follow the man around, obeying his every whim as though they were subordinate and superior.

"Are you trying to whore him off to me?"

"Na, you're not good enough for him anyway"

"Asshole!"

He laughed yet again at his friend and turned his attention back to the pieces of table. The problem however with working in silence meant that sometimes his mind would turn to darker places and despite trying to not think much about what has been happening in the nights and the very reason why Levi was put in his care in the first place, Eren couldn't help but frown at the feeling of unease. Therefore he turned to Jean and wanted to get his opinion on the strange happenings of Camp Eldia.

"Hey Jean? How have you been sleeping?"

"Like a baby"

"So... No nightmares?"

Jean sighed deeply, putting down the tool on the table and then turning to Eren give the boy his full attention, " _Eren_ , if this is your way of asking to share a bed with me so I can cuddle you when you're scared of the dark then I'm going to have to let you down gently"

"Oh my god, you're seriously such a dickhead", Eren shouted and sat back pouting in his seat, similar to a brooding teenager. Jean was obviously going to make another comment about Eren's outburst. However as much as Jean tended to be unserious, he was sharp when it came to recognising how someone really felt, and therefore he saw the unease in Eren's features and was instantly concerned for his friend.

"You're serious aren't you?"

Eren nodded, refusing to meet Jean's eye.

Suddenly, Eren felt Jean grab onto the sleeve of his hoodie and pulled him away from the table and towards the tool wall that was at the back of the classroom. Eren noted that he had pulled them away from anyone who could potentially eavesdrop in their conversation.

"Listen, I haven't been having nightmares myself, but I think I know what your talking about"

"Any particular reason we had to go incognito for you to tell me that?"  
  
Jean nodded his head towards the Green band, class instructor at the front of the room who was shooting the two boys curious glances, but didn't find it necessary to interfere with whatever it was they were doing.

"They're always watching us", Eren had to suppress a shiver of electricity that ran down his spine at Jean's words.

"Sasha's been screaming out names in her sleep, sometimes it's mine, sometimes yours and then other times she's calling for someone called Connie, I also heard that Armin used to be the same, he was a Red band to begin with, then all of a sudden he started going off the rails, mumbling nonsense and acting out"

Eren furrowed his eyebrows in scrutiny. He didn't want to believe that his first friend may not be as oblivious as he appears, but then again Jean was accurately describing what Eren felt was the beginning of what was happening to him, "What? Armin did?!"

"Yeah, then one night apparently Levi took him inside the Hunters Lodge and when they came back out again, he was calm again, the two of them acted like they knew each other for years and then all of a sudden Armin was a _Green_ band"

"Fuck. We're in a _cult_ aren't we Jean?", He yelled in horror, earning a few glances and chuckles from other people in the room, whereas Jean just punched him in the arm at his exclamation.

"No you twat, no one's gone missing and there's a lack of blood sacrifices going around — funnily enough people that go _in_ , come _out_ a lot better", Obviously, Eren knew that he was being dramatic, but it still didn't help ease the squirming in his stomach,

Jean placed a comforting arm on his shoulder, sensing Eren's lingering distress, "Mate, relax — it's not like something deep is actually going on, you're just having a shit night's sleep... _Ok_ , we can share the bed just _once_ if it makes you feel better, but you can't tell anyone"

The two boys shared a laugh and began to walk back to their table. His mind was still processing everything that Jean had told him. As relieving as it was to hear that whatever was going on wasn't only just affecting himself but other people. There was still the worry that things could possibly get worse for him. But for now Jean had done what _all_ good friends do and made him feel much better and not so alone.

With a sigh, Eren quickly reached out for the tool lay on his table, however he managed to catch his hand on something sharp and cut it. It wasn't a very deep injury despite it beginning to bleed. Just as he was about to cradle his hand, he was quickly grabbed by the wrist and he turned to see the Green band leader, their eyes were staring intensely at the cut on his hand.

"Careful Yeager, we can't have you injuring yourself"

He felt himself nod absently, not being able to respond but only to wonder why they looked so startled by Eren's injury. He told himself that they might have an issue with blood and yet they grabbed the first aid kit and took their time wiping his hand with an antibacterial wipe and a plaster.

The rest of the class went by fairly quickly. When the dismissal bell rang, both Eren and Jean left the classroom together, laughing at something stupid that Jean had said, however stood outside the classroom was Levi, his arms crossed with an impatient expression. From the corner of his eye, Eren saw the sly smirk start to make it's way onto Jean's face as he also spotted Levi waiting.

"Aw, you didn't tell me you had a date after class"

"Suck a dick and die"

"No, you go suck _his_ dick and _live_ "

"Bye mate", Eren smiled at his friends dramatics and waved him a goodbye as they went their separate ways. He then turned his attention to the man that appeared to be waiting for him and couldn't help the wide grin that appeared on his face.

"Hello daddy, come to pick me up from school?"

Levi rolled his eyes at the approaching male and instead nodded his head in the direction of the running track, "You wanted to go for a run didn't you?"

"Yeah, just didn't think you'd give in that easy"

"Come on Yeager"

They walked together silently and both were very comfortable with the lack of conversation. Despite not knowing each other for very long, there was something about Levi that made him feeling like he knew all there was to know about him. He had a calming soul that Eren wanted to attach himself to. They started their warm up stretches together, Eren obviously sneaking a few cheeky peeks at the other man's body, before they began a light jog around the track, side by side.

"Go on then, talk"

"Where to start", Eren sighed, admittedly not knowing how to explain what he was going through without sounding like a blabbering mess.

"You're having nightmares?", Levi prompted, in which Eren was grateful for.

"They don't make any sense to be honest, the first one I had, my mum was dead, I know it sounds stupid, not everything that happens in dreams is reflected in reality, but something about it felt so real, even when I had woken up, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was mourning someone I hadn't really lost"

"And the other dreams?"

Eren looked away briefly, scratching the back of his head as a nervous habit. If Levi were to ask why his cheeks were suddenly turning red, he would blame it on the jogging, "They were about you actually"

"Stop flirting Eren"

Eren spluttered, shaking his hands out in protest, "No, i'm being serious this time — _wait,_ do you like it when I flirt with you?"

" _Eren!_ "

"Right, sorry, we're being serious... Don't laugh but you wore this uniform that had the same symbol on it that are on these bands and I called you Captain", He peeked towards Levi to see if he could guess what the man was thinking. But as usual Levi had mastered the art of being unreadable and said nothing before he raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Captain huh?"

"Kinky right?", Eren smirked.

 _"Eren_ "

"Right, sorry again, I don't know — it's weird because sometimes the dreams aren't so bad, but when I wake up again, I just feel hurt, like I'm in so much pain and I can't remember why and it's getting harder to not allow them to blend in with my everyday life. I know it sounds impossible but my dreams feel like memories. Obviously that's not possible... I don't know, I guess I just needed to get this off my chest"

"Does it feel better that you spoke about it?"

"You know what... It does actually, thanks Levi", He sighed, turning to look completely at Levi with a genuine, warm smile. Levi's eyes widened only slightly at the kindness of Eren's smile and found it temporarily disarming, before he scoffed at him and looked away.

"Don't make it weird Eren"

He couldn't help but burst out laughing at Levi's reaction and shake his head. Like seriously, who gave this man permission to be so unintentionally funny, "Jokes aside, you're an actual breath of fresh air, I'm glad we're friend".

"Who says we're friends?"

"I did, because you know we are"

Levi rolled his eyes at him, but didn't hold back the amusement in his eyes as he looked towards the younger male, "Fine, I'll indulge you this one time"

"You spoil me... You know, I've never seen you laugh or even smile, what does it take?", He wondered feeling a new odd sense of determination to know what it looked like to see Levi looks so free and light-hearted just one time. 

"My humour is quite precise"

"Hm, you like to joke about shit right? I have a shit joke for you", Eren smiled, turning around to jog backwards so he could see the whole of Levi's face wanting to drink in every expression that the man would make.

"Eren, you should look where you're jogging, if you fall I'm leaving you here", Levi warned, however Eren dismissed his warning.

"Ok listen, so there's this little boy right and he's walking by when he sees this old man shovelling horse shit, so the boy says "hey old man, what are you doing with that poo?" And the old man says, "there going on my strawberries" so the young boy looks at the man absolutely disgusted and says, 'I Don't know where you're from mister, but where I'm from, we put sugar and cream on our strawberries"

Eren threw his head back laughing, still jogging backwards before looking up at Levi waiting to watch the man laugh. However Levi's expression didn't change what so ever.

"That joke was crap"

"Wow, you really such a sour bast-"

As predicted, Eren had tripped over his own feet and landed on his ass. And according to Levi, that was funny as the man started to snigger looking down an the frowning man on the ground.

"Oh, _now_ you choose to laugh, great, you won't be laughing when I put you on your ass in the rugby game", Despite frowning at Levi laughing _at_ him rather then _with_ him, Eren couldn't find it with in himself to be truly bothered, not when he had succeeded in making the man laugh, whether intentional or unintentional. It was Eren that put that smile there. He held his hand out for Levi to help him up, however the man deliberately ignored Eren's outstretched hand and continued to snort under his breath as he jogged past him.

"You'd barely put a dent in me", Levi called back to him.

Eren huffed, standing from the ground and brushing down the dirt on his pants, "Oh yeah you think?, Come on then!"

"What?", Levi questioned, turning round to see Eren posed in a defending position. His feet planted firmly in the ground.

"Give me your best tackle"

"Now _that's_ funny Yeager"

"Don't be a prick, come on! It's a win-win situation, you get to take all your pent-up anger out on me, and I get to feel your hands all up on my body", Eren smirked as he tried to get Levi riled up, especially as he already knew how receptive the man was to Eren's teasing.

"I really, really hate you"

Eren only laughed at him and crouched down, stomping his feet in the ground to show he wasn't giving up any time soon. "Tackle me Captain!"

Apparently, that seemed to have done it for Levi as the man immediately growled at Eren before barrelling his way towards Eren, he was picking up some serious speed and just before he reached Eren he crouched nice and low, wrapping strong muscular arms around Eren's thighs before slamming the boy into the ground. Temporarily winding him. For a moment Eren instantly regretted having Levi tackle him on such hard ground, he was certain to get some bruises. Then again, he couldn't bring himself to be so bothered, when he looked up to find that Levi still hovered above his body. Their faces only centimetres away and the warm breaths of Levi's panting brushing softly against his cheek.

"Can I kiss you?"

Levi didn't flinch as Eren's blunt words, but he did raise a questioning eyebrow, "You're asking?"

Eren shrugged nonchalantly, "Yeah, I figured if I just went for it, you would kill me"

"You thought correct", Levi stated before standing up and Eren mourned the loss of Levi's warmth, however he wasn't too disheartened when Levi held his hand out for him this time to help him up.

"Meh, worth a try", He chuckled.

"Try harder", Levi said before going back to jogging and for a moment Eren didn't move because he swore to god that Levi was smirking and it was that type of smirk that told him that perhaps that was Levi's attempt of flirting. Eren laughed it off before running to catch up to Levi and the two jogged together again in a perfectly content silence.

***

_It didn't matter if today was not the end of the world. It didn't matter if it would be tomorrow or even the day after. Right now, Eren didn't have the capacity to worry about the things that may happen beyond what was happening right now. He did not register the cracks of glass beneath the soldiers feet, the tremble of the earth that shook the ground, the sound of rounds being fired from the gun or slash of wires that whipped above his head. No... Eren had more pressing things to worry about than the war around him._

_He could only feel the ache in knees as he kneeled on the ground. The thrush of dripping liquid that seeped between his fingers as he put as much pressure as he could on the wound of the cold body that lay beside him. No matter what he did, the blood didn't cease to stop, but he wouldn't give up, he pleaded in his mind that just once he could transfer his ability to heal. But for now this would have to do... Forget saving the world, right now, he needed to save her life._

_"J-Jean! I need you to help me, help me put pressure on this!", He called out frantically to his comrade who had remained silent and only watched as Eren tried with all his might to keep pressure on her wound._

_"Eren..."_

_"Come on! I c-can't fucking stop the bleeding on my own...She-She's going to bleed out", He yelled again, hovering on borderline hysteria._

_"Eren we need to move", Connie bent down, avoiding looking at the girl that lay beneath Eren's fingertips and he went to grab him by the biceps to pull him to his feet. They needed to keep moving, they couldn't afford to stop, but Eren would not be moved. He pulled Connie's arm off him and the boy backed away quickly as Eren viciously snarled at him which a glare like venom._

_"Fuck off, Fuck you! You fucking move! I'm not leaving her behind whilst she's still breathing, you heartless bastard!"_

_No one said a thing. Not one of the many soldiers that had gathered around him. They all may had been in a rush, but none of them wanted to leave him behind, they wouldn't leave him behind. He could barely register the sound of Armin's hysterical sobbing in the background and Hange's soothing voice. But that didn't matter to him at all, he was becoming more and more distressed, his fingers grappling at flesh willing the bullet wound on the girl's body to close._

_"Why...", He cried, looking at them all individually as they loomed over him. Each and every expression blank._

_"Why are you all just standing there, I-I can't...I-I can't stop it... she's bleeding, her blood...Hange! Levi...I"_

_"Eren"_

_He heard Captain Levi approach him, before he was kneeling by his side. None of the others had the strength to say anything but him. It was haunting and it was painful to watch Eren fall to pieces before their very feet, to watch him try very desperately to keep the girl alive, to watch him scream so loud that his cries would stay with them when they would try to sleep at night. Levi carefully placed a hand on Eren's shoulder, aware that he had tensed from his touch but did not instantly push him away._

_"Eren... She's dead"_

_"Fuck you", He spat._

_"Eren"_

_"Stop fucking saying my name! Stop it... Please, I can't bare it", he whispered, his hands moving slowly away from the girls body and gripping harshly onto his own hair, her blood that was on his hands dripped from his fingertips and ran streaks of cardinal down his face._

_"She's dead Eren"_

_"I know"_

_And just like that, Eren had nothing else to say. Instead he was expressionless as though a flip had been switched and his humanity had turned off and sealed away. And so he knelt there, her blood staining his clothes, his hands, his face. It would not matter how many times he were to wash his hands because his hands would always be stained. This was his punishment, this was his failure for not being able to save her. This is what they deserved for believing that somebody like him could be the hope of humanity. What was most cruel of all was that he couldn't even cry. Not the fact that they couldn't even bring her body to be buried to rest, not the fact that she hadn't even died in her own home land, but the fact that Eren could not cry for the girl he had lost._

_This is what is means to be a soldier. It was only now that he realised what his mother had tried to save him from but it didn't matter now, all he could do is keeping moving forward, so with a nod of his head he stood from the ground and kept moving onwards not turning back once to look at the body of Mikasa Ackerman._

His eyes shot open and the first thing he did was burst out in tears. He was aware that he was back inside his dorm room and he didn't have time to be confused about what had happened, because all he could do was cry. He wept for the dead woman of his dreams, he cried tears she had deserved that he could not shed. But this, this was real... he couldn't explain it, didn't understand it, but Eren refused to believe that this pain in his heart was not real, it was to excruciating and heart breaking. He cried harder when he heard someone run over to him where he lay on the ground and looked through the blur of tears to see Mikasa knelt beside him looking down in hysterical worry. 

The irony of their reversed positions was not wasted on him.

He said nothing but reached out to her, grabbing onto her arms wanting to feel if she was really there, needing to know that he could really feeling her breathing above him.

"What happened?", he asked.

"I don't know, I just watched you walk in coming back from your jog and the next thing you passed out", she said, leaning over to grab a bottle of water from her bag and helping him sit up before offering him the beverage, she knew that his throat must of been sore from his wailing.

"You were dead in my arms...", he whispered, the bottle of water shaking in his hand as he took a slow sip.

"What?"

"You were just lay there, bleeding out beneath me and I was trying to stop it, but I couldn't stop it because you were already dead and I didn't cry, I couldn't cry... I'm sorry"

"Eren. I'm here beside you, I'm not dead", she looked at him with pity. He knew she was trying to calm him down, but he hated it. He hated the way she was looking at him, as though he was a little boy that cried about the imaginary monsters under his bed.

"But you was"

"Eren I—"

" _No._ Please stop... I need to have answers Mikasa, I can't do this, I'm tired and I'm afraid that I'm losing my mind. I think i'm sick and I know that those people know more about this then I do", He yelled in a sudden burst of determination. He jumped to his feet and ran towards his bag pulling out a dark coloured hoodie that he slipped on and pulled the hood over his head. It would do an alright job for hiding his face. He ignored Mikasa hovering beside him and passed by her heading towards the door that led out into the hallway.

"Eren, where are you going?"

"Paradis building"

"It's against the rules!", Mikasa shouted, suddenly alarmed by Eren's actions. Truthfully she appeared worried about Eren getting in trouble.

"I really don't care about rules right now Mikasa, I need to know what's being hidden from me"

"You're not ready", she whispered.

He would apologise to not listening to her later. But right now, Eren needed his answers and so he opened to door to the hallway and made his way towards the Paradis building, finding that he was walking away from Mikasa for what felt like the second time that day.


End file.
